Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Mark Driscoll supports Chick-ified Chicken Sandwich

In an about face from previous pronouncements on the issue, Pastor Mark Driscoll has come out in support of Chick-fil-A. In an interview with this satirist, a spokesman for Mars Hill Church said that Driscoll would like to throw his considerable weight behind the fast food chain.

Driscoll, who has made waves before with his statements regarding the manliness of food (sushi is notoriously off limits because it is used to catch meals, not eat) had previously been in the anti-Chick-fil-A    movement, not due to politics, but due to the name and cuisine.

Pastor Mark, as he is known, has felt for some time that chicken, is in fact, a feminine meat-like product and not true meat (close supporters say he calls is "girly meat"), the kind Jesus and other men of Biblical times, would have eaten. In fact, there is no mention of Jesus or other prominent figures of the Bible, within the Old or New Testament. Pastor Mark does not eat pork, due the biblical injunction against it (besides bacon), nor does he eat poultry unless it is all that is available. Pastor Mark's prohibitions also include raw fish, like sushi and all shellfish. As Pastor Mark said from the pulpit, "Men do not eat anything that has not been cooked on a open fire. They also do not eat any fish or meat that could not put up a fight, besides cow."

When asked about his public change, the spokesman indicated, while it is unfortunate that word "Chick" is used by this fast food restaurant, making it difficult for any real man to eat there, the fact that this chick has taken a stance against chickified men has caused Driscoll to rethink his stance.

Since there is no Chick-Fil-A for Driscoll to eat at in Seattle, he and his family will be taking an elder's private jet to Georgia on August 1, to eat at Chick-fil-A as part of Mike Huckabee's "Chick-fil-A Appreciation Day." He will then post pictures of the dinner, as well as his meeting with Dan Cathy, to whom he will speak about serving sandwiches of a more Christian persuasion, like hamburger.

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