what I submitted to Ellen to get Super Bowl tickets

I am sure I will not win them, even though I believe my essay is superior to that of others submitting theirs to Ellen for Super Bowl tickets. It was supposed to show how you were the biggest fan, it had to be oringinal and it had to be funny. Hopefully I accomplished this, even if I will be watching the game from someplace not called Raymond James.

Here is the essay:

You will doubtlessly receive many more essays from Steelers fans, but have no compassion upon those requests. After 7 Super Bowls, they have had their chance. For a lifelong Cardinals fan living 3 miles from the stadium, this could be the only chance I get. If it took 60 years to return to a championship game, next time I would be 100 yrs old. While I may have good genes, these are not odds I want to take.

I am cheap: no hotel, no plane fare; just tickets. In a recession you need to allocate your resources in a responsible manner and I am here to help. Don't spend precious money willy nilly like Merrill Lynch redecorating the CEO's office. In the immortal words of Jerry Maguire to the most famous Cardinal of all time, Rod Tidwell; "Help me, help you."

Ellen, I mean that.

Do not pick the fan from Phoenix who has "loved" the Cardinals for a short time. Do not pick the St. Louis resident who let them go. Pick the guy who has no reason to root for this team yet deeply loves them anyway. Pick the guy who has more character than a Cowboys fan. Anyone can like that team, but it takes someone codependent to love the loveless, for over 30 years… from a distance. Pick the guy who could have picked a good franchise but instead chose to give his heart to the girl who broke his heart needlessly over … and over.

Sure, he has been infatuated with prettier girls along the way. He fell for the supermodel from San Fran in the '80s, considered the new girl in town when the Rams came calling, was intrigued by the wild, unpredictable girl from Green Bay and even briefly dated the total package while living in New England. But his true love, the dysfunctional one forgotten in the desert, was always on his mind.

And when she came calling in Tampa, he had no way to see her. Help me see my first love. It is up to you.

on being a Tampa fan of the Arizona Cardinals

I am sure some of you that read my blog cannot wait until the Super Bowl is over. You do not want to read yet another sports related posting. I cannot help it if I have been incredibly lucky as a sports fan with my Cardinals winning the World Series a few years back, my Spurs winning every other year and the great history of the Seminoles. Heck, even my adopted teams (due to proximity) like the Rays and Patriots have had recent success. However, nothing prepared me for the Arizona Cardinals to reach the Super Bowl in Tampa.

Security is tight around the city and the adult businesses are bringing in talent from around the nation. The blimp flew over my house yesterday and the roads are getting clogged. We drove by the stadium on Sunday and it looked like a Taj Ma-(foot)Ball. One day the city looks normal and the next day we look like Beijing during the Olympics. And then there are the Steelers fans.

There are a number of reasons for so many Steelers fans in my city. First of all, many are snowbirds and spend their winters here instead of braving the lake effects snow and ice. Secondly, they are the most successful franchise in NFL history with fans all over the nation, especially in a place like Florida with all the transplants. Arizona is a nice place for retirees, snowbirds and transplants, so they probably have as many Steelers as Cardinals. However, this is getting ridiculous.

I was looking for some newer Cardinals paraphernalia to mark the occasion and to wear on Sunday and could find nothing beyond a $100 Kurt Warner "jersey" and the Super Bowl crap with both teams (or the NFC Champion shirt- I am waiting for World Champion shirt) emblazoning the front. I mean nothing is here. I can get shot glasses, mugs, sunglasses, thongs, onesies and holsters in the yellow and black of the Steelers, but nary a thing of interest with the Cardinals on it. Sure, they have sucked forever and have no fan base, but they will be here in a few days (and people love to jump on bandwagons) so don't make it look so much like Pennsylvania around here.

I was looking for a place to watch the game, since Super Bowl tickets are looking more and more unlikely (where can a Tampa resident that loves the Cardinals get some love?) and found no bars hosting Cardinals fans. Sure, some "fans" will be there on Sunday rooting against Pittsburgh, but nothing for real fans. Of course, in the paper they listed 20 bars for Steelers fans.

So, what do I do? I can watch it at home or with people that don't care about the game. Or I can get my butt handed to me at a Steelers bar. Gentry thinks I should stand outside the stadium and beg (but, if that does not work I miss the game). I really need someone from the Tribune or St. Pete Times to do a story on me and get me into the game. Hey newspapers and TV stations. find me. I am right here! Give me tickets!

I would be a great correspondent as the Tampa Cardinals fan at the game.

Go Cards! Steelers Suck (unless they are playing the Cowboys)!

* I am mentioning the media outlets here, just in case they google themselves (News Channel 8. WFLA, Tampa Tribune, TBT, Creative Loafing, WTVT, Bay News 9, WTSP, WFTS, ESPN, WMOR, WTOG, WTTA, WWBA, WLVU.

a note to Red Sox Nation

It is quite pathetic that I feel the need to justify my desire to root for the Tampa Bay Rays (where I live) this year at the expense of the ubiquitous Boston Red Sox. I have taken the fair amount of abuse and smack talk from these people, none of which grew up in Boston... they lack the charming pugnaciousness of your typical native Southie.

During the past 2 weeks I have been accused of treacherous behavior, band wagon jumping and non-loyalty. I feel like a Republican that has seen the lack of vision from his own party and chosen to vote for Obama, treated with contempt by the loyalists to a dying empire in light of the potential future, attacked as unpatriotic for seeing through a different prism than those unable to see beyond partisan rhetoric (does this equate Sarah Palin to Coco Crisp?).*

Like picking Obama early, I have been thinking the Rays could make it to the WS when all other doubters were waiting for a collapse. They are managed better than almost anyone in the majors and they were built for an entire season and playoffs, unlike the Mets, Angels or Cubs. None of you believed they could win, even yesterday. I did.

To those fans, I point to the following...

1. I am a lifelong Cardinals fan. No other team is in the same ballpark. I will root for the Cards above all other teams until my last breath (even if one of my sons plays on an opposing team). The Red Sox never were. The Rays never will be. But, I can like other teams. As Stephen King said, the Red Sox are my wife, but the Rays are my mistress." **

2. I chose to root for the Red Sox as my AL team for a number of reasons including, a) they are not the Yankees, b) the charm of rooting for a team striving for the top, yet not attaining it, c) I moved to Boston and there was fever in the air, d) I was watching and rooting for them in 86 against the Mets (whom I hated)- I have had a soft spot in my heart since 86 (they had been #2 for 15 years when I moved there).

3) However, some things happened; a) we moved from Boston (which changed nothing), b) they won 2 World Series, c) their fans got greedy, self centered, obnoxious and had a sense of entitlement (in other words, they became Yankees fans), d) the band wagon nature of the Red Sox Nation- there were few pre-2000 fans I could find (they jumped on the wagon and complain about any other wagon jumpers), e) some of their players rub me the wrong way, especially Coco Crisp, f) the fans and media got more obnoxious as the Rays got better, g) the luster began to leave when, to win their first WS in 86 years, they beat my beloveds.

4) Regarding the Rays; a) I am a native Floridian and we only got baseball teams post- loyalty oaths, b) I have followed them since their inception, mostly through my dad (got me a G-d awful original t-shirt), c) they have been building quite the team for a few years and I have been waiting for something good to happen, d) the new uniforms are snazzy, e) all teams that suck for a number of years get a bandwagon, including the Red Sox and Cubs when things move into a better direction, f) did I mention.... that I live here?

5) my children are in the midst of picking their teams. We live in Tampa. They (especially Aedan) are picking the Rays over the Red Sox (and maybe the Cardinals). I will support this. Plus, the Rays have kindled an interest in baseball for our kids (after watching them in person). If the Rays make my kids like baseball, they get some serious props and loyalty.

6) If the Rays and Cards were in the World Series against each other... make no bones about it, there is no competition for my loyalty.

So, Red Sox fans- get off your high horse, unless you are a true Native. If you are not a native, you jumped on a bandwagon some place along the way. There is nothing wrong with that... just don't begrudge Rays fans that have done the same. This team is plucky, well managed, has a small budget, young players, a good farm system and serious talent. In other words, they did it the right way. Plus, a guy that just got called to the majors made the save. Seriously, 69 Mets are nothing.

Go Rays! And Red Sox fans... get over yourself. You had a great season and were beat by an evenly matched, slightly better team. Raise a toast in their direction and remind yourself they kept the Yankees home. As the great Bob Ryan of the Boston Globe said, "So now you know. Experience is nice, but nothing beats talent. The best team in the American League is going to the World Series."

* little over-the-top, I admit.

** my loyalty is in this order

1. Cardinals- not subject to change

below subject to change

2. Rays

3. Red Sox

4. Marlins (beat the Cubs and Yankees in 2003)

5. anyone playing the Cubs with a potential to embarass them.

6. anyone playing the Yankees with a potential to embrass them.

7. anyone playing the Astros with a potential to embarass them.

8. anyone playing the Braves with a potential to embarass them.

9. whoever has a great story.

10. anyone with a player I really like.

what is a Pastor's respsonsibilty to his (or her) congregation in his (or her) off time?

On May 12, 2008 the Pastor of one of Tampa Bay's largest churches and his 13 year old son were killed in a plane crash near Asheville, NC, leaving behind a wife and 4 more kids. I did not know Forrest Pollack beyond an initial conversation when I first moved to Tampa based upon a mutual friendship with another pastor. He seemed (and from all accounts was) very friendly.

I had heard that his church was growing like mad (it was already one of the larger churches in the area) and had had no luck when trying to get them to support a ministry I had worked for a little later (though not through conversations with him). He, and his church, was a huge supporter of religious right causes, including the infamous Justice Sunday I and II and other such events. He was a major player in the SBC and an possibly an eventual President (he was only 44).

I am writing this because I cannot get one thing out of my mind. He was killed flying a single-engine Piper aircraft before dawn in rugged terrain, according to news reports. I am assuming it was a father/ son trip with his 13 year old.

Here is what I cannot escape...

Did he have a responsibility to his flock to not engage in risky activities or behavior? Have we ever thought about this with pastors? We think about moral and ethical issues, but what about physical dangers (not related to mission)?

I do not blame him or his church because I do not think it has ever come up. But, if 7,000 people depend on someone for leadership (and I understand it was a very 1 Man centered ministry) and follow him to build a $25 million facility based upon his vision and gifts, should they expect him to be careful in his time off?

In the NFL and professional sports there are clauses in contracts specifying activities they can engage in and those they cannot. Many players, including the Bulls Jay Williams and The Steelers Ben Roethlisberger have breached contracts when riding and crashing motorcycles (Pollack's wife smartly declared his Harley off limits). These teams depend on athlete's bodies and have a right to tell them not do anything dangerous. I would say that piloting a single-engine plane in the mountains before dawn is dangerous, especially by someone with a non-commercial pilot's licence that only flies occasionally. Interestingly, I have been told that two of the places in America with ridiculously high fatality rates among pilots are Lake Tahoe and Martha's Vineyard/ Nantucket (remember JFK Jr?).

Both of these places have many rich non-professional pilots navigating difficult terrain or sight lines paying the price when it would have been cheaper to put their lives in the hands of professional pilots. Such was the case with this pastor. I cannot say that I would have decided not to fly around if I were the leader of such an important ministry. However, I can assure you that if I were on the elder board of a church, I would (now) put it in the pastor's contract that there were certain activities that could cause discipline beyond moral or ethical issues (unless, of course, he were flying into the bush of Africa to deliver medical supplies- but I would still have issues).

Am I crazy or making any sense here?