Ways LOST could end

I don't watch the show, but I have seen a lot of TV. Here are my thoughts on how LOST could end:

1. Star Matthew Fox will wake up, shower and walk downstairs… and on to the set of Party of 5, as star Charlie Salinger. He will then tell the rest of that cast, including Neve Campbell and Jennifer Love Hewitt about this weird dream he had last night (which entails all 5 seasons of LOST). The final episode will end with “Closer to Free” by the BoDeans.
2. It will end with the main characters airlifted off the island. An “other” will be left standing there. They will look down and the word “Goodbye” will be spelled out in shells and coconuts. They will smile at each other knowingly.
3. The living characters will sit in a New Jersey diner with Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believing” rolling over the end credits.
4. The screen will pan out. We will see the LOST Island is really a diorama of an island in the hands of a young autistic boy, sharing his school project. The whole thing has been in his brain.
5. Everyone will die on the island besides 1 (I am not telling you who). He will then find a package from Fed Ex with a volleyball he names Wilson. He will then talk to the volleyball for an inordinately long period of time. He will eventually fashion a craft and escape the island. He will deliver another Fed Ex package to a single lady and be happy, even though all his friends are dead. A Coldplay song will play over the ending.
6. The remaining characters will take a celebratory 3 hour cruise on the SS Minnow with a skipper and first mate. They will be restranded on the same island setting up a spin off. This time it will be a comedy.
7. It will be an alternate universe setting up a future as seen in JJ Abrams Star Trek. Kate Austin will end up marrying Tiberious Kirk, thereby becoming the great-great-great-great grandmother of James T. Kirk.
8. The monster from JJ Abrams’ film Cloverfield is really living on the island. It will escape. Everyone will die. A Ronnie James Dio song will play over the ending. It was a prequel to his movie.
9. The remaining characters will be flying back to the island, but make a stopover in Latham, MA due to a small crisis on the plane. They will witness a carjacking and refuse to help. They will be arrested under a new ordinance which demands bystanders help those in need. During a trial, they will be visited by former islanders, all living normal lives. They will then be prosecuted and sentenced to 1 year in prison. The finale will suck.
10. Fox Mulder will be called in to investigate. He will believe the stories. Scully will be skeptical. We will learn it was all a plot of a shadow US government perpetrated by the smoking man. Nothing will be answered and everyone will be disappointed. A movie will be planned but no one will care because they have moved on to other things.

The real ending:

C’mon, you know they all really died on the plane crash and this is purgatory.

What you didn’t know about the show:

1. Being a former Scientologist, JJ Abrams has really been creating a metaphor for the religion. Those on the LOST Island are really representing those who attempt to escape the clutches of Scientology with the consequences usually dire. He had to keep it hidden because Tom Cruise would be really mad. All the crazy things in the show are really basic tenants of Ron Hubbard theology. It is really pretty obvious.

In an attempt to Sway Christian Voters, Obama moves State of the Union away from LOST premiere

After his fiascos surrounding the preemption of the Charlie Brown Christmas special, in which it was brought to light by a Tennessee mayor that President Obama, as a closet Muslim, was intentionally trying to destroy the Christian message, Obama’s spokesman, Robert Gibbs announced today that Obama will not preempt the season debut of LOST for his already scheduled State of The Union address on February 2. Instead, the State of the Union address will be on January 27, according to the White House.

According to Gibbs, “Obama understands the importance of LOST to Christians throughout the United States and after the unfortunate mistake surrounding the Charlie Brown Christmas special, Obama has heeded the advice of his Christian friends, supporters and counselors by changing his address date. It has been difficult to keep up with the scheduling of LOST, since they seem to work hard to make people confused about when it will be on. However, after speaking to head of nighttime programming at ABC, we have chosen to give America what it wants.”

“Why LOST and not another program on another network? is an obvious question," continues Gibbs. “Because the president was given a book entitled The Gospel According to LOST by Christian preacher Chris Seay last week. It is now the president’s understanding that LOST is an obvious presentation of the Christian message. While President Obama values all religious expressions equally, he does not want to offend his Christian friends once more.”

Reverend Brian McLaren, a regular advisor to the president on religious matters confirmed Obama’s desire to reach out to Christians after the “unfortunate Charlie Brown incident.” McLaren did say that this should bring back many of those in the Emerging Church movement who were frustrated by Obama because he had wimped out and acted too conservative on many issues, “they worship LOST even more than they care about their politics or theology.”

Best Television Experiences of the Year

As I said yesterday, I have many holes in my television watching diet. I am usually too busy making sandwiches for homeless people and working on my great American novel while you lesser beings are having your brains sucked out by Seth McFarlane and Simon Cowell. Okay, maybe that is not entirely the case and I let most evenings get away from me, especially since there are so few hours between when the kids crash and our need for sleep (under 3). That said, here are my top television experiences of 2009 (note: Number 1 is from previous years, but so what, I watched it this year).

10. Seeing Tim Tebow cry after losing the SEC Championship. link

9. Modern Family's cheerful dysfunction. Al Bundy was never this good. link

8. Community is willing to step on toes, much like 30 Rock and touch third rails on sexuality, race, politics and religion. Plus, it is dang funny. I heart Abed and Troy. link

7. Watching the Arizona Cardinals defeat the Eagles to make the Super Bowl, followed by the Super Bowl coverage in which they had to acknowledge that the Cards were actually in the Super Bowl. It continues this year with the Cards making the Giants and Vikings look silly on National television. link

6. Ted Danson getting his mojo back as an aging pothead/ major magazine publisher on Bored to Death with Jason Schwartzman. link

5. Jon Stewart taking down Glen Beck on The Daily Show (along with hundreds of other bits). Sure it is not perfect, but when it is on, the Daily Show is dang near perfect. Plus, they are doing a great job on race issues, which I am sure White People Like. And how can I forget his takedown of Hannity's "news coverage of tea parties." link

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
The 11/3 Project
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Health Care Crisis

4. "Hello, Dexter Morgan." The introduction of John Lithgow to the cast of Dexter. link

3. 30 Rock, when it hits all the marks. It misses the marks half the time, but when it is perfect, it is level of perfection few comedies can touch. Case in point was the Christmas episode from last week.

link

2. The Seinfeld "reunion' on Curb Your Enthusiasm.

link

1. Finally watching what could be the best television show in history during the summer and early fall. I found myself fully engaged on a level even Dexter has not engaged me on. To have a show with such fully realized characters, in which you never knew when someone you cared for (usually against your better judgment) would randomly die or do something heinous is something I had not experienced before. While I disagree with many regarding the show's realism (it is still a show and stretches timeline boundaries, character motivation and coincidences beyond recognition as any other television show would do), I think the arc of the show is truly like the Greek Tragedy its creator describes it as, with the capricious gods being city hall, the police department, the drug scene and schools and the main characters of the show just pawns on a life-size chess board.

While The Simpsons, LOST, the Sopranos and The X-Files make for good sermon fodder or the latest "Gospel According to …" book, The Wire is something else indeed. A book examining its bearing on the Gospel would be one-dimensional, a sermon would be substance free and anything less than a dissertation or graduate level class in Literature, Economics, Education, Political Science or Film would be strikingly trite. If I were a college prof in any of the afore-mentioned subjects, I would make The Wire required watching.

In fact, everyone should see this show. Very few films in history are at its level of perfection, especially sustaining this for 60 hours. To think there were no wins and only two Emmy nominations during its life is proof of the joke that is the Emmys. As Jacob Weisberg of Slate said, "its like them never giving a Nobel Prize to Tolstoy. It doesn't make Tolstoy look bad, it makes the Nobels look bad."

By the way, I have never mourned for a drug dealer like I did twice on this program.

Seasons in order of Quality (if you haven't seen the show, understand this is an exercise all watchers engage in):

4 (like everyone I acknowledge this may be the most heartbreaking and perfect season television has ever produced)

1 (do cops really drink that much? Plus, my single favorite scene in which McNulty and Bunk use one profane word over and over as they investigate a murder)

3 (wanna go into politics and be unsullied? Good luck. Watch this and learn)

2 (that guy playing Nick could not act. Seriously)

5 (one too many coincidences- but a great ending)

warning language

Link to 100 great quotes from The Wire.

Honorable mention: The Inauguration

Year End Lists- Worst TV experience of the Year!

As we wrap up the year, I will be sharing some of my “Best of” and “Worst Of” selections for the arbitrary designated year end, as well as a few things for the decade. First of all, I will be doing television. Tomorrow is my “Best Television Experience of the Year,” while today is the “Worst Television Experience of the Year.”

Unlike critics I am not paid to watch crappy television. Unlike many people I am too busy to veg in front of the television watching whatever drivel is passing for reality TV at this moment. So, while I am sure I would be begging for hours of my life back if I watched Jersey Shore or Real Housewives of Lancaster County, PA, I must be more discerning. Because of this, I have very few television experiences this year that are truly miserable (besides the conspiracy to give the Steelers another championship last January).

I have a restricted television diet, consisting of the 4 comedies on Thursday night’s NBC, Modern Family on Wednesday (yes, life is serious enough that I like funny shows that make me laugh to relax) and Dexter. We also watched the seven episodes of the first season of HBO’s Bored To Death. It is a great show, very funny.

We don’t do Mad Men because we missed the first season. It is on our to watch queue along with Breaking Bad, Friday Night Lights and Battlestar Galactica. We don’t do Heroes or Lost (went down the rabbit hole with X Files and don’t want to return to the law of diminishing TV returns- I plan on marathoning LOST once it is over and I can watch it all on DVD) and decided against Glee because, even if it has an edge, I really don’t like musicals. I always forget Curb Your Enthusiasm, even though I think it is the funniest thing on television (it is a bit too cringe worthy to watch regularly).

Needless to say, my Television diet is not very caloric, so I am have huge holes in it and don't know the best and worst beyond my little telescope. When I veg out, I like sports, Comedy Central’s late night staples and No Reservations. Kristi likes to veg to What Not to Wear reruns and Project Runway, two of the more tolerable reality shows. I get the appeal of Top Chef and anything cooking related, but just don’t get around to very much Appointment Television.

That said, the worst television experience of the year happened last night on my (and Kristi’s) favorite show, Dexter. The season 4 finale was so disturbing and without precedent that Kristi declared she was done with the show, unfollowed Dexter on twitter and did not want to speak of the show ever again (It is Dead to Me). Of course, she needed to process it quite a bit. I was that "OMG" or "WTF."

For me, I could not believe the show went “there.” I cannot tell you where “there” is, but I can tell you that I am sorry if you are one of the masses I have gotten into the show. I can tell you to stop at Season 3 and act like the happy endings after the wrap up are the show's ending. Now, does this say Season 4 wasn’t good? No. It was truly masterful with twists and turns unlike any I have seen in television. It is one of the better seasons of television ever made, superior to anything the Sopranos ever threw at us (I will never watch harry and the Hendersons again thanks to John Lithgow's performance as the Trinity Killer). But, it was too dark, too visually disturbing, too unrelenting and without the pay off a show like this demands. In fact, while I think the writers are brilliant, they do not understand that an audience has needs beyond being messed with because the story arc demands something new.

Also, this is television. It is not a novel. Because of the image that gets seared into the brain of the viewer, there are some rules that need not be broken. You can describe something on the written page that furthers the story and damages the reader, but to show it is quite another thing. Dexter does and Dexter did. Because of it, I could not sleep last night. I was disturbed, pissed, totally impressed while playing every possible scenario in my brain realizing that “going there” demanded me to make leaps I am not interested in making and damaging the all important plausibility of the show (note: plausibility which is needed in all fiction, not possibility). Just like with The Wire, I become frustrated when the show becomes lazy, easy or a character acts in a way that seems contrived for plot furtherance more than development of the character in a psychologically realistic manner (within the rules of the show). Of course, this is the mark of a great show, when it causes such a visceral reaction from its audience.

Plus, whether it is season 2 of The Wire or the season 4 finale of Dexter, timeline is important folks!!!! You cannot stretch the coincidences beyond recognition to further a plot, so every twist and tangle is justified by a timeline that demands 346 things to happen in sequence, most of which are coincidental, for the ending to be accomplished (see episode 11, season 2 of the Wire and the death of Frank Sobotka).

Why am I angry? Because shows of this caliber are few. I trust them and I trust their writers, so make sure the timeline works and there are no obvious contrivances. While I will not notice a contrivance on most drivel that is on the tube, these shows are better than that…

Or so I hope.

Tomorrow, we will reflect on the best TV experiences of the year, many of which were not fun from a show mentioned on this post.

less successful the "Gospel and..." television shows

I just saw online that Chris Seay, who I used to work with, is writing a new book on how the Gospel interacts with something in popular culture. Taking a cue from the "What Would Jesus Tell (name a famous person- real or fiction from pop culture)" sermon series popularized by Willow Creek Church and numerous seeker churches world-wide or the ubiquitous "God and the Movies" pretty much every church preaches during the dreary summer days to gather attention, Chris has added to his repertoire the ABC series LOST (in the past he has written critically acclaimed books about The Sopranos, The Matrix films and Enron).

When I was preaching regularly I, too, would pick artifacts of popular culture for sermons based on the interactions between that subject and the Bible (or Gospel, in Christian vernacular). Some of my favorites were the television shows The X Files and Millennium, the films Jerry Maguire, Magnolia or Dead Man Walking and musicians like Ben Folds, Pearl Jam and Lauren Hill. Needless to say, besides The X-Files I did not have Chris' propensity to pick up on cultural phenomena, usually picking things regulated to a niche very quickly (or at least a select audience).

My love of the grays and the margins usually leads me to popular culture that does not translate as well to mass audiences (any reader of this blog knows that). Sure, a series on the Gospel According to Coldplay would draw a slightly larger audience than the Gospel According to Frightened Rabbit (okay, no one would be interested in the treatment of Frightened Rabbit), but I don't like Coldplay. And who cares about Jesus and the television show Chuck, one of the better shows on television (but with no cultural resonance for some reason) or Dexter.

Now here is where I am going with this... Chris has picked some things that translate well to his idea (The Sopranos work like a warped Davidic kingdom and the Matrix threw every religious idea in history at us). But, there are many things out there that are probably left outside of the "Gospel and..." treatment (many of which have been preached less successfully in churches). I have seen pastors try to use modern classics like the Scooby Do movies, The Fast and The Furious, GI Joe, Transformers 2 and Night at the Museum 2, stretching the film (sometimes they haven't even seen it) and Gospel to a breaking point.

There are many films that just don't fit, especially some of the stuff I like. And the television shows I love would either not translate to a "Gospel and..." book or 3 people would buy it. Here are my favorites shows. Imagine a book entitled:

The Gospel and Dexter (exploring Dexter's relationship to Deuteronomic and Levitical law)

The Gospel and Chuck (Chuck saving the world as metaphor for evangelism)

The Gospel and 30 Rock (Liz as Moses leading her people to the promised land, Jack as Yahweh, Tracy as Aaron and Kenneth as the 10 Commandments)

The Gospel and The Wire (a 2000 page exploration of conflict between the differing branches within the Davidic Kingdom at the time of Solomon, with McNulty and Omar as competing Jesus figures... or something like that)

The Gospel and Pushing Daisies (about how even God cannot resurrect an under appreciated quirky series on broadcast television that is too smart for its own good)

Sure some shows would be easy, The Gospel and the Office (trivial, but sells well), The Gospel and My Name is Earl (written by an 8th grader) and The Gospel and The Simpsons (D'oh).

Some other less-than-classics could include The Gospel and Mad Men (just wait, it is coming), The Gospel and Weeds (hmmmm, what is this one about?), The Gospel and CSI (We dodged that bullet) and The Gospel and Grey's Anatomy. I am sure someone has written the Gospel and American Idol or Survivor.

So, share with me either 1) the worst "Gospel and..." thing you have ever seen/ heard/ read or (God forbid) done

and

2) The darkest or worst idea for such a book or series (no "Gospel according to Saw" types- too easy), or that thing that would stretch The Gospel or bible beyond imagination to fit. Justify it if possible.

by the way, I would buy a book called The Gospel According to District 9!

The Wisdom of Tracy Jordan

Now for something completely different, I give you a great site to waste time if you are a fan of 30 Rock. This site is chock full of every line that Tracy Jordan (played by Tracy Morgan) has shared during season 3, most of which are wonderful nonsequiturs.

If you don't watch 30 Rock, please accept my condolences.

Link

My top 10 include:

1. “Yes you are, son. That’s what that birth certificate you printed out for me said.”

2. “What? Please. We are here because white folks think they can do whatever they want to black folks. It’s like when Adrian Brody kissed Halle Berry at the Oscars. White people stole jazz, rock and roll, Will Smith, AND heart disease. Now they think they can take my hard earned money.”

3. “I haven’t seen Oprah since she did that episode about the worst celebrity dads.”

4. “I hate to see you like this, Ken Doll. It’s like an owl without a graduation cap. Heartbreaking!”

5. “There’s no link between diabetes and diet. That’s a white myth, Ken. Like Larry Bird or Colorado.”

6. “I’m saying the Disneyfication of New York is over, everyone. At the stroke of midnight, your Lexus is going to turn back into a hot pile of rats fighting over a human finger.”

“7. I’m Flava Obama and I’d like to introduce our Undersecretary of Housing and Crystal Meth, boooooyyyyy.”

8. “Well, if all you want is a hug from a black person, maybe you should just host the Price is Right.”

9. “I watched Boston Legal 9 times before I realized it wasn’t a new Star Trek.”

10. “I almost didn’t make it here this afternoon, but then a very special friend showed me the way. So I’d like to take a moment to thank Victor Cardova from the Sunoco station on Lennox Avenue.”

snarky comments on the Grammys

to keep you coming I am throwing a post at you...

some thoughts on last night's Grammys.

• I forgot they were even coming on and had no plans to watch them. However, it worked out for Kristi and I to do it.
• Jonas Brothers do not = Hanson. Hanson was a wannabe rock band that was caught up in the circus for a little while before venturing on their own path. Jonas Brothers are exactly what we think they are. Plus, as annoying as Mmmm Bop and other early Hanson songs were, at least they were catchy sugary pop written by kids. JB songs are pedestrian pablum.
• Whitney Houston. I feel bad. Seriously, I do. Go home. get help. Brian Wilson has a wonderful psychiatrist/ guru. Ask Brian for his number. Call Denzel and ask him to take you to church. It is like watching Britney... if Britney were 45 and still on the same road.
• This "no host" thing is idiotic. Just pay a comedian to entertain us with lame jokes and the occasional good one. During his presentation, Craig Ferguson of the Late Late Show reminded us why comedians are better at being funny and giving awards than musicians that can barely read a teleprompter.
• My view of Coldplay has not changed. Actually I may respect them less and musicians. Did they steal their songs from Joe Satriani? No, but they are so derivative, they probably stole their songs from lots of artists and then stole the songs from themselves over and over. If I want overly emotive high register singing, a constant crescendo and the same vaguely spiritual lyrics, I will go back to a contemporary church.
• Coldplay wins best pop performance- i get that. it is pop. nothing more.
• Coldplay wins best rock album- seriously? Rock? How can the same pop band win both of these awards? Lil Wayne is more Rock than these guys. Metallica and Kings of Leon (the only good nominee) cannot believe they wasted a Sunday night.
• M.I.A. performs 9 months pregnant. You gonna tell her no? Did not think so. BTW, let her sing. Don't give me all the other rap stars singing over her. Where were the gun shots during Paper Airplanes? No guts Grammys.
• Kanye West... I am done with you. If I want to hear you, I will find your first album, College Dropout and listen to it. You have passed relevance and are moving quickly into self parody.
• Glad I could hear T.I. before he goes to prison. His performance with Justin Timberlake was the best surprise of the night for me. That is what mainstream rap needs to sound like.
• U2. I love you, but that was merely serviceable.
• Paul McCartney and Dave Grohl. Nice energy, wrong song selection. And crowd... you did not even stand for Sir Paul. Ridiculous. Have you no sense of history?
• Is there a clause in the grammys contracts that John Mayer is required to win at least 1 grammy per year, even if he has not released an album? I guess so. Mayer is quickly becoming Taylor. I feel the same about Alicia Keys, but at least her award was pre-broadcast.
• Rick Rubin wins best producer and we do not get to see it on TV? Here is an idea. Show more awards on the Awards shows. At least record the good pre-awards and then show us the winners getting their due. Then cut the crappy stuff. You lose nothing.
• Loved how much love the incomparable T-Bone Burnett got. Alison Krauss, Robert Plant and the camera people understand the greatness of the T-Bone. I want to be as cool as Robert at 60. For an old rocker, he is aging more gracefully than Mick, Paul, Bruce or Bob.
• Justin Timberlake has a nice voice. But when he sings with Al Green it reminds us of why these AI era technically proficient singers have nothing on the soul of Al or Marvin (whose voices would not make it onto modern pop radio). No one does it better than the Reverend (and Justin sounds just like MJ- lets hope he stays away from the scalpel and small children).
• I think Gwyneth has a bigger crush on Radiohead than her husband's band. Good taste. At least Nicole Kidman did not make it on stage. I would have been done, even before Radiohead (I guess we should be glad INXS or Midnight Oil were not nominated).
• I do not get Kenny Chesney. It is like I am listening to cuts Jimmy Buffet and Garth Brooks left off their albums, for good reason. Country Fans- Expect more!
• How was Carrie Underwood's song "country"? I do not get it. Sugarland gets lots of praise for being merely decent. Oh yeah. It is the Grammys where we give awards for mediocrity and decent-ness.
• there are 9 Latin music categories. I did not know that. I hope it is asked when playing Trivial Pursuit or when I can win money for my knowledge.
• I enjoyed Neil Diamond more than Stevie Wonder. I should feel bad. I don't.
• Did you know Al Green, Kings of Leon, Bruce Springsteen, Mars Volta, Duffy, Bela Fleck, They Might Be Giants, Metallica, Rick Rubin, Peter Gabriel, Daft Punk and Radiohead won Grammies? Me neither, until this morning. Had I seen some of those wins, I would have felt better.
• Radiohead... Radiohead...Radiohead. Worth the waste of my time most of the show was to see Radiohead perform 15 Steps with the USC band. One of the best moments I have seen on the show. I am at work and not finding it for you, but look on youtube, if you did not see it last night. 

What to Do Tonight (a media heavy diet)

Unlike most nights when there are little media choices to distract us, tonight offers a conundrum.

I have TiVo, but can only record one thing while recording/watching another. Plus, there is an offering outside of our house. What should I do?

1. Art*Music*Justice tour in Tampa. Derek Webb, Charlie Peacock and others I don't care one way or another about will be singing and raising money for International Justice Mission. It begins at 7PM and costs $20 at the door (plus there are 5 artists involved and a babysitter is needed). In theory this is the best option, but the associated stakes are a bit too high.
   
2. We still TiVo CSI- We have been with it since the beginning. However, due to the advent of other shows and the loss of major characters, we have tentatively decided to forgo watching this show. It is still an option though. It begins at 9PM.
3. Our regular Thursday night lineup includes My Name is Earl and The Office. It is a non-negotiable that this will be watched. We are just not sure it will be watched tonight. It begins at 8PM and there are a couple of lesser quality shows in the midst.
4. Thursday night college football on ESPN features by Alma Mater, Florida State against NC State. FSU, while still not at its recent glory is better than most assumed. It would be nice to see them go 5-1. This begins at 7:30PM.
5. Lastly, in what may be the trump card for all other evening events (if Kristi approves), The Rays can clinch an improbable journey from worst record in baseball to World Series favorites tonight against the Red Sox, whom I used to care more deeply for than today (thanks obnoxious band of fans with entitlement issues and Coco Crisp). The Rays celebration hopefully begins at 8:07PM.

What would you do?

it is summer and I blog about trival matters

in keeping with my recent tradition of blogging about none-to-serious topics, I would like to Thank whomever decides upon Emmy nominations for noticing the work of my favorite shows of the past couple of years, Dexter and Pushing Daisies, especially its stars, Michael C Hall and Lee Pace.



It is nice to see such high quality programming noticed and , especially when they are not over-hyped like Lost or mediocrity at the top of the weekly ratings like 2 and Half Men. Of course, I am always happy with a 30 Rock or The Office selections, but that goes without saying.

Great Commercial

quite simply one of the coolest commercials I have ever seen. It was banned due to "violence." Of course, this is the kind of violence of 8 year old boys.*

If this had been on during the Super Bowl, people would have been talking about it for days (and copying it). Have fun.



thanks Huffington Post for the link and a list of other commercials.

* if your pacifism or anti-consumerism keeps you from laughing, you are no longer a pacifist. you are fundamentalist.

Chuck Todd should replace Tim Russert

is there anything I don't have an opinion on?*

As a self professed political junkie** (in fact, a nickname in college was "Politico" with another Fraternity brother designating me the PJ), I have been wondering what could happen to election coverage in wake of the tragic death of the incomparable Tim Russert. A fan of NBC's political coverage (by far the most mature, most comprehensive and least shrill) for years now, I have watched Meet the Press most Sunday mornings (or TiVoed it) for a number of years.

During this election coverage I have grown to appreciate Chuck Todd and his careful analysis of election patterns, voter percentages, campaign missteps and walking the Russert-line of non-partisanship with strong opinion. A couple of days ago, while considering who should fill Russert's incredibly large chair, I realized he was the right person for the job. He has many of the same qualities that made Russert so strong. He is smart, well prepared, slightly schlubby, an everyman and young enough to keep the chair for years.

While I can see David Gregory becoming Washington Bureau chief, I don't think he is right for the MTP chair. Of course, Chris Matthews would be a disaster and Kieth Olbermann is a lightening rod. I am sure others are bandying for the spot as I write this.

But, Chuck Todd is the right choice. Apparently I am not the only one with this opinion (so make it happen, NBC. Andrew Sullivan, Kos and Jonah Goldberg agree.

* probably not

** I consider myself pretty astute on the political front. actually I feel my analysis and understanding is better than my understanding of theology. My wife says that it is because my natural bent and talent is sociological. I am drawn to politics because of the sociological aspects and towards the sociological and relational aspects of church and theology (which shapes my theological understanding- not the other way around). She is probably right.

what I have been up to lately

sorry for not posting much the last few days. I have been busy... life, Mr. Mom, cooking, job search, etc.

However, I have also been busy with every spare moment finishing 2 seasons of the ridiculously compelling Showtime program Dexter. You may have heard of the show, about a serial killer working as a blood splatter expert for the Miami PD that only kills murderers. It is that good. Plus, I am sucker for procedural drama and serial killers (although I abhor violence onscreen and refuse to watch horror films).

I had seen 1 or 2 episodes a few months ago and loved it. Then we found it was part of our free on demand schedule. I watched the first episode with Kristi and the subject matter (pitch black dark but humorous) caused her to tell me to watch it alone. However, listening from another room proved too much for her and the storyline drew her in (and the acting, which is THAT good). So, for the past week we have been watching a couple of hours per day (most days) with 1 or 2 days of 3 episodes. We should be done tonight or tomorrow with the first 2 seasons and can begin our relatively TV free summer life once again... of course, season 3 begins in September.

Watch at your own risk!

I need the Daily Show

almost 2 weeks into the Writer's Strike and the only thing in my life that has been affected is the Daily Show (and an occasional Colbert Report). Did these sides not realize the importance of these shows during the election cycle? Some say this strike can last 9 months. That means Iowa and New Hampshire with no Daily Show. That means Hillary and Rudy could be nominated with no snarky comments to keep those voting humble.

Slate Magazine tells us how it is affecting our precious Daily Show (and how Comedy Central gave us the archive right before the strike- thankfully).

link

tv advice we must all heed

Great advice from Jack Donaghy (Alec Baldwin- the funniest man on television) on last night's 30 Rock (the funniest show on television), "Never Go with a hippie to a second location."

Indeed, Jack. I will remember this piece of wisdom for the rest of my days.

personal update

We are heading to the beach for a few days beginning on Tuesday. It should be a fun time and it is a much needed respite. Since Kristi was pregnant during the summer, we did not vacation. So, we are needing time away.

I will be attempting to keep up with my fantasy football commitments*, but work is off the table. We will play with kids (and hopefully friends) and do very little. I am hoping to read The Year of Living Biblically during the week. It looks like a blast. I am also hoping to finish Brian McLaren's latest, Everything Must Change (started it 2 months ago- oops), which is his most important book (in many ways) and should be seen as the logical conclusion of a new way to do Christianity.

We will also try to keep up the latest additions to our media diet (we decided we could add 1 or 2 shows this year, since we only watch Thursday night comedies). We are loving Chuck and Pushing Daisies (actually, I am loving PD, while Kristi is putting up with it).

However, before leaving for Anna Maria Island (one of Florida's few remaining hidden gems) tomorrow, I will be flying to DC** for an interview with a great organization I hope to work for. I have been talking to this organization about a specific job for over a year and it is finally getting serious. Keep it in your prayers (if you do that sort of thing).

*after starting the season 0-2, I have rebounded with a tie and 3 straight wins- including a shellacking of the previous undefeated powerhouse. Go Mosquito Larvae!

** I will leave Tampa at 7AM, be interviewed at 10AM and catch a return flight at 1:45, hopefully landing in Tampa at 4:10 to leave for vacation a few minutes later.

Why we need to wait on opinions (Taibbi on the Imus scandal- best thing by far you will read)

Countless times you have heard be sing the praises of Rolling Stone's Matt Taibbi, far-and-away the best political journalist/ commentator in the Ameircan press. He is offensive and usually right. In his latest posting for RS, Taibbi takes on the Imus affair. You may say it has been played out, but you must take the time to read this scathing diatribe against the American culture that creates such a spectacle. He takes on Imus, NBC, Sharpton and Jackson, Snoop Dogg, Ludacris, a USC professor, Baywatch, Carlos Mencia, Paris Hilton, Tupac, and the entire music industry. Yes, he even calls today's rap singers minstrel singers.

No one could get away with speaking such truth on television. Please read and let me know what you think. Warning- offensive language and serious thoughtfulness.

Here are some choice quotes:

First of all, let's just get this out of the way: The idea that anyone in the media world gives a s__t about the dignity of women, black or white, is a ridiculous joke. America's TV networks have spent the last forty years falling over each other trying to find better and more efficient ways to sell tits to the 18-to-35 demographic. They make hour-long prime-time reality dramas these days about shopping-obsessed sluts hitting each other with pocketbooks, for Christ's sake. Paris Hilton -- dumb, rich -- gets her own prime-time show. MTV, the teenie mags, the pop music industry, they're basically all an endless parade of skinny, half-naked brainless women selling makeup and jeans to neurotic, self-hating, weight-obsessed little girls.

The idea that NBC -- the company that proudly produced 241 episodes of Baywatch, a show whose two main characters for nearly a decade were Pamela Anderson's tits -- was "offended" by the use of the word "ho" is beyond preposterous. Until this incident, I would have wagered very good money that "ho" would be in the title of at least one NBC-produced reality pilot within the next ten years...

...as an adult white male I also know a minstrel show when I see it, and that's what rap has turned into. Satan himself couldn't have designed a more effective vehicle for marginalizing black culture than modern hip-hop. In the early days rap music was scary social commentary; it was raw and real and it vividly described a violent street culture that white people didn't know about and didn't want to know about. But very quickly rap turned into a multibillion-dollar industry in which the same corporate behemoths who sold us crap like Garth Brooks and boy bands and Britney Spears made massive profits selling a stylized, romanticized version of black misery to white kids in the suburbs.

That was bad enough, but even worse was the way black politicians and black intellectuals so easily bought into the idea that these endless video images of gun-toting, ho-slapping black men with fat wallets, rock-hard tattooed abs and fully-accessorized rides were positive living symbols of "black empowerment" and "black manhood." Like Tupac was the next Malcolm or something.

Yeah, right. Seriously, how dumb do you have to be to not see through this s__t? Here you've got the modern-day version of The Man signing big checks to back your record deals and cheering along as all the artistic talent from the black community starts walking around in public wearing one-word stage names like strippers, writing song lyrics featuring preschool-level spelling and primping endlessly for the cameras with gold teeth and swimming pools and pimped-out cars -- all of them absurd caricatures of the capitalist wealth
fantasy. How exactly is any of that that different from the minstrel show, the conk and the zoot suit? The black man who can dance and sing, but can't control his urges, can't resist ____ and just can't get enough of what Whitey is selling, can't stop preening in his Caddy...that's innovative? That's empowering?

Bull___. Rap was real once, but once it became an industry it turned into the same con white people have been playing ever since they set foot in this country. It's a bunch of shiny trinkets for the isle of Manhattan. Here's your Hummer and your b_____s, knock yourself out. You need us, we'll be buying the African grain market. Oh, and, thanks for the cap, my kid loves it, he wears it sideways just like you...No matter how catchy the music is, on a deeper level, that's what big-money rap acts amount to now. And the longer the black community eats it up, the more time Whitey is going to have to laugh all the way to the bank, like he always has...

...we love our black jokes, we love our Jew jokes, we love our redneck jokes and we love our misogyny -- we just don't want it all on the wrong network in the wrong time-slot, coming from a white guy, in whose mouth it might very well sound like the bigot in all of us. And when it does pop up in the wrong place, coming from the wrong person, we've got to pull the "I'm shocked, shocked" act and pretend it's a criminal aberration. Because that's much easier than facing the truth about what we just heard.

* by the way, this is an example of a non-Immediatista. Matt waited until the heads shut up and listened to everyone before giving his assessment on the subject. This article makes the idiocy of the entire Imus debacle worthwhile.

TV worth adding to the diet

While most of my friends are hipsters keeping up with the wonders of televisions newest golden age, my family rarely watches anything besides The Daily Show and a little news/ sports. We are missing all of he water cooler conversations surrounding Friday Night Lights, The Sopranos, The Wire, Rome, Heroes, Lost, Grey's Anatomy, 24, House, American Idol and those dancing shows.

I like to say that it is because we cannot watch all that television and still have time to make sandwiches for homeless people and adequately raise my children. But, I just don't feel I can add any more to our media diet. If I were to add AI or Heroes, I would have to drop something else- and I am pleased with the shows we watch. We religiously watch The Daily Show, The Office, Scrubs, My Name is Earl and C.S.I, plus we occasionally watch The Colbert Report, NBC Nightly News with Brian Williams and sports (if there is a major story or I am very bothered by the Bush Administration, Countdown with Keith Olbermann)- plus a new show.

I guess a new show could come after May and we would have time then, since every other show is a rerun. Actually I love the summer, because I can watch baseball and the Daily Show and nothing else.

Anyway, I mention this because this year we did add something to that diet and it has rapidly become the funniest show on television (BTW, when adding a show... I will always pick humor over drama. My real life is dramatic enough). The show we added to our line up was on Thursday night (along with every other network TV show we watch).

The funniest show on television, with the best writing and the willingness to go just about anywhere for a laugh is 30 Rock. Yes, you have read and heard that it is that funny. I am here to tell you that it is. The best show on Thursday night is still The Office, but 30 Rock is the funniest.

article on the marketing of violent horror films

read this as a companion piece to my posting from yesterday. Richard Corliss of Time magazine looks closely at the marketing of today's horror films to young teenagers. link

Some telling quotes regarding our descent into the abyss of violent imagery led by the marketers of film and television include...

Protecting the children. That ritual has been played for ages across the generations. Parents fret about what their children see/hear/read, and the youngsters shrug it off until they have kids of their own and renew the worrying cycle. Parents hate violent movies, so kids just have to love them.

That's why horror films don't need stars. One letter sells the movie: R (meaning kids are restricted from seeing it unless accompanied by an adult). Another lure is the MPAA description of offensive elements, like this one for Saw III: "strong grisly violence and gore, sequences of terror and torture, nudity and language." Parents read this as a warning, kids as a come-on. "'Terror and torture'? I'm there!" Can't see it? Must see it...

Rule No. 2: Expand your consumer base. Do movie companies try to lure 11-, 13-, 15-year-olds to their violent movies? Of course: that age group is their prime market. And with the Internet, it's easy and cheap to do. If the Saws and Hostels were never seen by young teens, they'd lose a big slice of their audience.

The MPAA needs the teen market. Tougher than most other national ratings boards on sexual images in movies, it's far more lenient when it comes to violence. In many countries, Saw was forbidden to those under 18. In the U.S., your 17-year-old could go and chaperone his younger siblings. The argument may be that sexuality is real and disturbs kids more than pretend maiming. But these ratings teach that sex is forbidden and killing is cool. They also tell the world that America is a place where violence rules.

Of course, horror films aren't the only place kids can go to for their violence fix. Eli Roth, director of Hostel, an R-rated film about a European backpacking trip gone horribly wrong, knows that kids under 18 are seeing his films. He thinks they should be 15 or 16 to see the Hostel sequel, due out in June. "Kids that age have seen enough TV and real-life violence by then that they understand the difference," he says. "You can turn on Fox at 9 p.m. and see someone drilling into someone's head [on the series 24]. You can turn on CNN and see soldiers who have been tortured. As the violence on TV gets more extreme, the violence in movies has to top that to keep getting people into theaters."

It is going to continue to get worse, especially if American Christians (and thoughtful Americans in general) continue to approve of violent entertainment, especially with their pocketbooks.

Who would Jesus Shoot?

I am moralizing today (sorry if you do not like that, but remember I have no job or pulpit presently from which to expound). So, you, dear readers, are subject to such whims of fancy from a particularly bothered DJ Word..

From Cynthia Tucker comes this wonderful quote on America's misguided love affair with firearms:

"This folly will continue, fueled by a perplexing cultural ethos that worships individual gun ownership. A century from now, anthropologists will look back and wonder what in the world this was all about. They'll sift through the ruins of the historical record, in much the same way anthropologists today puzzle over cannibalism and the sacrifice of virgins in long-dead civilizations. they'll wonder how a highly advanced and sophisticated culture allowed unchecked personal gun ownership, despite the carnage."

This article points out the increase in violent crime the past few years, especially gun related violence. The NRA has let us know that we would be foolish to think guns have anything to do with gun violence.

Of course, I am sure the increase since 2005 has nothing to do with daily images of Americans at war, dehumanization of our enemies, the approval of the destruction of those we disagree with and violent rhetoric from pundits and politicians (especially Cowboy Presidents)....

....coupled with entertainment bent on culturally conditioning us to accept any amount of blood and gore with no questions to our own sense of humanity loss. With television and film violence unparallelled in human history, whether it is the torture fantasies of 24 and The Sopranos or the gory spectacles of dismembered teenagers with large breasts and bulging biceps of sickening "entertainment" like Saw I, II and III and the films of talent waster supreme Quentin Tarantino or the bloody genius Mel Gibson, we are on the precipice inches from acceptance of snuff films and public death. Of course, I am sure first person shooter video games have had no affect upon millions of young adults and their love affair with violence.

Sure, I am sure I am just a prudish Nanny stater foolish enough to think these things are connected (well, besides the video games- I know the right wing hates those, as long as they are not War games or Left Behind killfests).

Sadly, just like divorce, dealing with poverty, plastic surgery and materialism Christian beliefs and behavior related to violence are no different from that of our non-Christian neighbors. How can we talk of a Prince of Peace when fighting for a Gun Culture, supporting the destruction of an entire race of people (Arabs) and justifying the embrace of extreme violence in entertainment because we are "'merican Christians?"

What will it take for Christians to embrace the teachings of Jesus and take our history seriously. Will it take violence against our own kind for us to see that violent culture is more damaging to a true "Culture of Life" -our Cowboy President's words- than those issues used by Dobson, The SBC and radio pundits to increase their coffers and attendance; knowing that speaking the truth on these issues would affect their bottom line and challenge their followers in a manner that would get less Amens and more people walking out because their toes are uncomfortable.

* I am sure many of us can try to justify the violence in anything we watch by stating something about the deeper meaning or that it really shows the impact of violence. While I believe this is true in many war films or westerns such as The Proposition and The Unforgiven, we cannot have it both ways with a shows like The Sopranos and 24 which no longer give viewers a lesson in morality concerning the consequences of the actions of the main characters, as they lose their humanity due to their actions (see Crimes and Misdemeanors or Matchpoint, both by Woody Allen, for such moral fables- or V for Vendetta, a violent film with a point).

When Jack Bauer kills innocent persons for the "greater good" he has lapsed into a new territory, like that of Tony Soprano when he strangles an enemy because of the opportunity in Season 1. At this point we can no longer say it is really about workplace politics. It is insulting to say such a thing.

BTW, I am not rooting for Tony Soprano to be murdered this year. I am hoping the creators have the guts to have him pay the consequences for his actions and rot in prison for the rest of his stinking life.

awakened from his slumber, a mediocre blogger rants about the Oscars

due to incidents beyond my control at my place of employment my life has become a bit off balance and I have found little time to blog lately (that and single dad-hood for the past 4 days as Kristi had a girl's weekend with her sister and mom).

However, as I lay on our couch watching the Academy Awards, throwing my ballot in the garbage, disgusted with the picks I made (worst showing in the Oscar balloting ever- I have had 5 years of plus 90%- i am good at this), I am awakened from my blogging slumber by one of the most preposterous upsets ever.

This slug is motivated by the Best Foreign Film upset. Although I only saw 2 of the foreign film nominees this year (and all but 1 of the Best Picture nominees), I have a hard time accepting that any of them is better than Pan's Labyrinth.

Although I never blogged about it this year, PL was on a different plane than any other film of the year. It is almost unfair to compare it to any of the American films nominated. It is the best, most original film I have seen since Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (and it may be better). The vision of Del Torro is wondrous. To capture the spirit of the Grimm Fairy Tales and to resist the temptation to sanitize such a story is incomprehensible to anyone that watches mainstream American film (oh, and the guts of the film's ending).

I cannot imagine the meeting of the Del Torro and his producers, "so, think Alice in Wonderland meets Schindler's List."Of course, he probably said it in Spanish.

Now, if Babel wins Best Picture I will be genuinely POed. It is the 3rd best film of the year by a Mexican Director, definitely not the best picture.

I will only be satisfied if Scorcese wins Best Director, although Paul Greengrass, the director of United 93 may have done the most gutsy job by an English Language director.

Each year I get excited by the Oscars, before remembering it is so staid and rarely celebrates the Best Movie of the Year.Then I watch it and stayed perpetually angry. I mean, did I really think any of the much better documentaries would beat An Inconvenient Truth (which was a good film and promoted a cause I fully support, but was not great film making)? Speaking of inferior films with a good message (but very preachy), how did Happy Feet win Best Animated Film? Oh yeah, Over the Hedge went unnominated and Cars sucked.

-great Melissa Etheridge won for the theme from An Inconvenient Truth. I guess next year Creed or Bon Jovi will win an Oscar for simplistic rhyme schemes and an overblown performance. Why do the worst songs win "Best Song" almost every year.

I mean Jack Johnson's theme from Curious George was good, as were some of Ben Fold's songs from Over the Hedge. Where was Devotchka from Little Miss Sunshine? Of course, the best song from the year was Shipping Up To Boston by The Dropkick Murphys in The Departed!

I may rant a bit more later