Thursday, March 04, 2010

The 10 Most Demonic Films according to Mark Driscoll

Many of us have all read the stories, the sermon, or seen how Mark Driscoll, pastor of the mega-Seattle-church Mars Hill has declared Avatar the most demonic film of all time. Of course, it is evil on numerous fronts. Not only is it a recruitment film for Paganism that shows advancement of culture as an evil. It is also a big budget action film and everyone knows Mark, the hip dude he is, is a fan of Indie flicks… of course the perfect films are Indie Action films with lots of male bonding and blood which sound great on his home theater system, which he tells us about in hisAvatar sermon.

Anyway, we have found Mark’s list of the Ten Most Demonic Films Ever made. Here is the list, borrowed by our investigative journalist/ hacker:

  1. Avatar- Blue Pagans that don’t believe in sin defeating the forces of progress and manliness. I might as well add its precursors Pocahontas, Dances With Wolves and Ferngully which had the same sickening message.
  2. The Matrix Reloaded/ Revolutions- not only did they suck in comparison to the first, but these Buddhist love fests also support the ending of wars between good and evil with negotiated peace settlements. That flies in the face of Revelations and the lake of fire (and manly filmmaking).
  3. Thelma and Louise- Although they get what they deserve in the end for upsetting the proper Godly order of things, they do so on their terms and not punished by God alone for their sins of not obeying their husbands. Feminism is dangerous.
  4. The Mission- a sickening example of the Liberal Social Gospel of pacifism. People like Brian McLaren must have used it as a template for their feminization and wimpification of “Christianity.”
  5. The Village- Another strong willed woman leaving behind the proper boundaries set up by her loving, Godly parents. She is not punished, but instead brings down the natural order
  6. It’s a Wonderful Life/ Heaven Can Wait/ The Preacher’s Wife- Angel Idolatry at its most evil. The early church stoned people for this kind of thing. Now we praise it. Sickening.
  7. Brokeback Mountain- Disgusting attempt to take a symbol of manliness and turn it into a recruitment film for homosexual behavior. These are weak men in need of redemption, not Oscar worthy.
  8. Dogma- I loved the language and the violence, but they lost me with a black disciple and headed towards heresy with a Canadian chick playing a God that could die. I hope Kevin Smith chokes on a chicken wing.
  9. Star Wars- before the sickening paganism of Avatar, we had the anti-Christian combination of Buddhism, moral ambiguity and witchcraft in Star Wars. It would be higher on the list if the protagonists were not human.
  10. Say Anything- What started as a great manly tale, especially in light of the lead character’s kickboxing training ended as a feminist dream in which the male’s will is subjugated by the woman’s.

Mark list did not include kid flicks, but there was a rant against children’s films, “Of course, this list is devoid of children’s movies which can be the most insidiously evil because they hide their demonic agendas behind toys and talking animals. Needless to say All Dogs Go to Heaven (with its inclusive gospel) is the vilest, followed byRatatouille, Wall-E, any Disney film with a female in charge and Lion King.”

His list of Demonic films did not include these obvious choices. He felt he should not include them because they are based upon books. So the Demonism was there before they were turned into films. These choices are obvious: Golden Compass, the Harry Potter films, the Twilight series,The Da Vinci Code and Jurassic Park (if the dinosaurs had eaten Jeff Goldblum’s postmodern atheist scientist, the films would be redeemed).

___________________________

its satire- chill Mark disciples

10 comments:

@joebumbulis said...

Hilarious.

Anonymous said...

Fine, you say it's satire.

Apparently though, there are Driscoll bashers who are linking to this posting as "evidence" of what's wrong with him and his way of thinking. I don't know anything about Driscoll or his church (or you for that matter) having gotten here through a link from a link etc trail, but it sounds like you and they have some kind of issues.

I'll just go back to my movie threads and shake my in in wonder at you religious loony's who love to make fun of each other because no one is right except yourself. If you Jesus nut Christians ever actually became nice people, some of us would listen. As it is, your smug hypocrisy speaks louder than your missionary words ever will.

Sorry for the rant. I was only going to point out how your satire is being misused, but once I start to think about you Christians and your attitudes, I get kinda riled up.

Jon Irvine said...

This is hilarious... need to get K to edit these b4 they go live though.

Rick said...

This is a blog, not a newspaper.

Rick said...

anonymous,

I am not a Christian loony. I am a loony who happens to be a Christian. There is a difference.

Thanks for letting me know it is being misused. I am not surprised. People are pretty goofy.

Actually I don't have issues with Driscoll. I know him. But, he can be a blowhard. I like to make fun of blowhards.

But, so am I. Make fun of me. I deserve it.

Makeesha said...

funny - and as always, the best part of your satire is the serious and overblown reactions.

rick said...

You had me going there. I was linked in from a Driscoll-hater who thought you'd discovered the Dead Sea Scrolls.

No mention of Smurfs and kid TV?

Seriously though, my mom used to tell me that Kimba the White Lion was thinly veiled communism in cartoon form. But then most of you are prolly too young to remember Kimba.

F*k you said...

Obviously you are crazy. How is Ratatouile demonic, I mean for real. We are talking about a talking mouse and a guy who is greedy. Thats nuts! Along with Jurassic Park? What do you take acid like a vitamin in the morning? Avatar is a Sci-fi film you idiot. I mean if you are going start going with creative films why don't you mention The Exorcism of Emily Rose or Hellraiser? The ones you have listed aren't demonic cause they aren't preaching as demonic, it is a creative art! This is why I'm no longer associated with Christians, you guys are all nuts. By the way you are a male chauvinistic pig. I'm so sick of men trying to make themselves better than women. I could out do you on anything any day you creep. By the way, you way of thinking based on the Christian religion has you a one way trip to hell buddy! Burn bitch burn!

Jennifer said...

What a fag. You make chauvinistic pig. I can't believe what a retard you are. Those aren't demonic films! Hellraiser, Constantine, The Exorcism of Emily Rose, The Last Exorcism, Carrie, Cujo, Drag Me to Hell, those are demonic films. You are what creates such a bad name for Christians and why people like me left the religion. I refuse to be associated with crazy ass people like you. You list of kids films that are demonic are insane! You're talking about the Lion King, how in the hell is that a demonic film?! Yeah the uncle is evil, but he's not possessed. Ratatuille is far from demonic and Wall-E? How can a film with a female in charge be demonic?! I'm a strong woman and I know I'm better than you you f*king jerk. I will laugh when I see you're judgmental ass burning in hell! I know God is truly disappointed that you even have anything to do with him! I'm sure he's hoping you decide to follow Satan, why would he want some jerk like you in his palace.

DJ Word said...

I found these 2 unmoderated comments that I had to share when I signed back in to my blogger account. truly breathtaking in the idiocy of Jennifer and the one that worked hard on an original name.

These people lacking any observation skills, humor or general intelligence make me smile on a rainy day.

I thank them both, especially Jennifer for using this as an example of why they left religion.

I am glad she think I make Chauvinistic pig. Whatever that means.

Of course I think these are the same person, maybe their multiple personalities.

I had not had enough Crazy today. I needed a little.