I have been looking for a wonderful vacation spot to gather with other Christians to figure out how we can take America back from the godless pagans who stole it from us years ago. Of course, I am still trying to remember what happened.
Were we sleeping? Did we not have it hidden in the right spot? Did those pagans steal the combination to the lock? Were we too busy selling Amway? Were we too busy trying to keep the status quo in society (you know keeping blacks in their place and women in the kitchen kept us busy in the 50s and 60s) that we were blinsided?
Of course, we know Christians did nothing wrong. Those godless pagans were just sneakier than we were (and smarter too???) and they stole America slowly beginning in the late fifties. By time the hippies came along, we were hoodwinked.
Well, now we can steal America back! Not content with controlling 3 branches of government, we have to Reclaim the whole thing for Jesus. And D. James Kennedy (didn't he used to be a preacher???) is here to teach us how with his RECLAIMING AMERICA FOR CHRIST conference in beautiful Fort Lauderdale this February.
We can learn from David Barton "the surprising history of church and state in America", which means that everything we learned about America is wrong, even the words of the founding fathers (especially if they contradict what he wants them to say) and "What a leading scholar says about Jefferson's "wall of separation" (because what Jefferson said and Virginia Baptists said is not good enough- it needs to be interpreted for the stupid masses). We can also learn "fresh strategies to win America's culture war" (because declaring the good news of Christ sure didn't keep America out of the wasteland), "the war on Christianity within our borders" (if you did not know we are being persecuted in the same way as martyrs throughout history and the world- you need to know you are a persecuted minority so you can act like one- even if Christians run the 3 branches), and much more.
My favorite speaker is going to be Stephen Bennett, a musician and former homosexual. Now don't get me wrong, I am glad Stephen has been changed, but when I have my name on a website as a speaker, right below my name I would not want it to say "Former homosexual, Christian recording artist, & Founder, Stephen Bennett Ministries." Does it say this on his business card? I mean everyone else gets "pastor" or "author" or "director" and he gets "former homosexual" as his official title. I wish they had titles for the other guys like "former a--hole" or "former gossip" or "former fornicator" or "former liberal." But, that is just me, I am sure.
Lastly, as part of the event, we are entitled to come to a Patriotic Concert (God and Country day). Of course, I don't need to tell you good Christian Americans were we can find God speaking about what God thinks about such things. I think it might be in Exodus 20: 3-5, but I could be wrong.
---sorry for the rant---