Tuesday, June 02, 2009

The Wisdom of Tracy Jordan

Now for something completely different, I give you a great site to waste time if you are a fan of 30 Rock. This site is chock full of every line that Tracy Jordan (played by Tracy Morgan) has shared during season 3, most of which are wonderful nonsequiturs.

If you don't watch 30 Rock, please accept my condolences.

My top 10 include:

1. “Yes you are, son. That’s what that birth certificate you printed out for me said.”

2. “What? Please. We are here because white folks think they can do whatever they want to black folks. It’s like when Adrian Brody kissed Halle Berry at the Oscars. White people stole jazz, rock and roll, Will Smith, AND heart disease. Now they think they can take my hard earned money.”

3. “I haven’t seen Oprah since she did that episode about the worst celebrity dads.”

4. “I hate to see you like this, Ken Doll. It’s like an owl without a graduation cap. Heartbreaking!”

5. “There’s no link between diabetes and diet. That’s a white myth, Ken. Like Larry Bird or Colorado.”

6. “I’m saying the Disneyfication of New York is over, everyone. At the stroke of midnight, your Lexus is going to turn back into a hot pile of rats fighting over a human finger.”

“7. I’m Flava Obama and I’d like to introduce our Undersecretary of Housing and Crystal Meth, boooooyyyyy.”

8. “Well, if all you want is a hug from a black person, maybe you should just host the Price is Right.”

9. “I watched Boston Legal 9 times before I realized it wasn’t a new Star Trek.”

10. “I almost didn’t make it here this afternoon, but then a very special friend showed me the way. So I’d like to take a moment to thank Victor Cardova from the Sunoco station on Lennox Avenue.”

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