A close friend of mine who is looking for a new job as a Worship Pastor, sent a link to Churchstaffing.com. Evidently a Main Event Church in Miami is looking for an Extreme Worship Arts Pastor. We cannot believe this made it past church staffing's editorial staff, but the posting could be the greatest church staff posting ever!
This postmodern, gen-x church with an unknown denominational affiliation, averaging from 1001-1500 persons is...
is seeking an exceptional leader to be our Pastor of Extreme Worship Arts. We believe the right person will be a unique fit for for such a time as this. This person serve under the Senior Pastor, and will oversee all areas of worship. Candidates must embrace the Senior Pastor’s vision of aligning all people of all denominations under the same vision.
The person must also meet these requirements: Ability to infuse the TULIP doctrine in all worship sets. Postmodern, Visionary, Missional leader capable of creating an ethos and apostolitic movement. Willing to find some songs written from a premillenial dispensationalist theological tradition. Desires to develop an emerging handbell choir.
Some snake handling may be appropriate (for our believers service only). Agree that the Lord is to be worshiped through magnificent attire and appropriate versions of the Bible. Demonstrate proof of a second blessing... Tongue speaking in various accents is a major plus as we are a multicultural church. Exegetically establish a movement of fluidity in the Extreme Worship Ministry. We realize that many of these requirements are personal preferences and not biblical mandates. Therefore, each candidate must be aligned with roughly 3/4 of all our requirements.
Good job to James the Pastor/ poster of the job, a man with evidently too much time on his hands and a unique vision/ sense of humor.