Monday, February 13, 2006

Advocating Presidential Safety

Upon reading of the Dick "Aaron Burr" Cheney incident I have become an advocate for Executive Branch safety. I now call upon congress to begin the process of amending the Constitution to provide for presidential and vice presidential safety through the ban of specific items and activities while a President and VP are in office.

However, since the Constitutional Amendment process takes time, we can only ask that this Administration and future administrations use extreme caution when mixing the Executive Branch and the following things, in as much as these items seem to be volatile when mixed.

For the purpose of safety for our Executive Branch, extreme care should be used when combining the presidency with the following list ...
  • Bullets and arrows (because guns and bows don't kill people)
  • Convertibles (maybe they took care of that one)
  • Public Theatre Showings
  • Military Props (such as jetfighters, fighter jackets, aircraft carriers and tanks)
  • Chain Saws
  • Alcohol
  • Interns
  • Extreme Sports (such as sky diving and mountain biking)
  • Extreme Weather
  • Religious Language and Scripture (they cannot handle it responsibly)
  • Chicken and Fish (anything they could choke on)
  • Microphones and interviews without teleprompter or script
  • Debates without earpieces
  • Cigars
  • Unfriendly Audiences with unapproved participants
  • Truth and Candor (banned since Ike's final day in office)

more on the Master of Mass Destruction and the connections between this incident and the Iraq War

if you need any help brushing up on the more obscure historical references, just ask in the comment.


mcgreevy said...

the article link is a cheap shot. no pun intended. perhaps this is a better link

Rick said...

complete cheap shot, but funny, nonetheless. I enjoy it when people tie unrelated things together creatively. At times I also enjoy over the top rantings, esp. when someone does something dumb, like Cheney.

I enjoyed the game.