preparing for the mean season

As we head into head into Turn 1 of the horserace people call the Midterm elections, the absurdity rears its head, whether in Virginia with George Allen's macaca comment, Florida with Drama Queen turned wannabe Senator Katharine Harris (campaigning with her assets in full view), on the evening news and amongst the pundits daily.

We have but 2.5 months left. Frightening indeed. In light of this fact and to prepare you for the next 10 weeks, I give you this passage from Matt Taibbi in his 2004 campaign journal, Spanking the Donkey. Although it is about Kerry vs. Bush. it could be said of any modern election season and the coverage from the newsmedia and pundits (I really cannot stand those guys- the pundits, that is)...

THESE LAST FEW WEEKS of the presidential election campaign season are turning out to be not a whole lot different than the last peaceful hours before a prostatectomy. That is, a brief moment of fatalistic calm before something painful and unavoidable, something you were dreading when it was far off, but something that is easier to face now that you know it will all soon be over.

The end is in sight. That much we should be thankful for. But that's about all we have to be thankful for, as this ____ vs ____ fiasco is turning out to be one of the greatest and most prolonged insults to human dignity the world has ever seen.

It is hard to imagine anything more meaningless, underhanded, vapid, shameless, pointlessly vicious, embarrassing, uninspiring, degrading and even unentertaining than this billion-dollar daily exchange of sneering teenage accusations between the ____ and _____ camps.

And it is hard to imagine anything more galling than the unspoken media subtext of the election—the idea that this slime-fest somehow represents an important moment, a landmark memory, in our own lives. The implication that we're such losers that we would actually want to watch this crap 24 hours a day for 15 or 16 months is almost more appalling than the behavior of the candidates themselves..

Hopefully this cheerful thought prepares you for the onslaught in the next 2.5 months of soundbites, insults, lies, lack of insight, redefinition of terms, scare tactics and stupidity.

i have removed the names of Bush and Kerry so you can out any 2 candidates in for yourself.