Other Proposed Resolutions for Southern Baptist Convention (SBC) 2010

In an effort to stay relevant in American society, the Southern Baptist Convention has begun a new program called the Great Commission Resurgence to redouble its commitment to evangelism and church growth, giving 110%, instead of the 105% they had been giving during the past decades. As anyone that follows sports knows, 105% is the same as 10% and results in never winning, especially in church growth.

One of the main ways Southern Baptists have stayed relevant in American society is through their use of resolutions at their yearly convention. These resolutions bring debate over contentious and hot button issues to the masses and allow for Baptists to inform the world of how they feel about specific subjects, therefore “taking a stand” and “keeping it real” as they communicate the love and grace of God to a world in need of it (oh, and God’s wrath and judgment also).

During the past 100 years Southern Baptists have made the evening news with classic (I will give a Top 10 list of my favorite REAL resolutions later this week) resolutions like Boycott of Disney in 1996. This year, we have a few new resolutions destined to make future Baptists proud and the world go, huh?

Making sure the world knows where they stand on every issue; here are the Top 10 Resolutions for Discussion at 2010 Southern Baptist Convention in Orlando:

10. As previously mentioned in this blog: Resolution to Boycott “painter” Thomas Kinkade in light of his recent arrest for DUI.

9. As previously mentioned: Resolution to Invite Big 12 schools into the Southern Baptist Convention.

8. Resolution to add heavier menu items to Tea Party Rallies throughout the nation. Says Albert Mohler, “we know the Tea Party movement is largely led by Southern Baptists and their friends. However, we believe the idea of a tea party is fairly childish and effeminate and ask to add Fried Chicken and Macaroni Salad, along with sweet tea to the menu for all rallies. We are considering a proposal to change the name to Sweet Tea Party movement thereby reflecting an important segment of the demographic of this important movement.”

7. Resolution to add to the Baptist Faith in Message, 2000 an addendum explaining that, “while the offices of pastor and deacon are explicitly male, as spelled out clearly in Scripture, a woman may be elected President of the United States and hold that office with support of Southern Baptist voters, if she holds the following criteria: she is Republican, she is evangelical, she is pretty hot for her age, she is not married to a former president.” Current prohibitions for pastors and deacons are still in effect for all other women.

6. Resolution to ask Congress to consider changes to the military policy of “Don’t Ask: Don’t Tell.” While many are hoping for a different change of this policy, Southern Baptists are concerned than overturning it will lead to Baptist Chaplains right to free speech taken from them. They will no longer be able to name this sin if the US Military allows The Gays to serve with impunity. The SBC will resolve to change the policy to “Do Ask: Do Tell: Do Tell Them They Are Going to Hell.”

5. Resolution to ask the Gores to seek family counseling and repair their marriage. Says Mohler, “even as a godless Democrat who cares about the earth way too much, we want to see Al Gore and his wife live their lives together and hope and pray for their reconciliation.”

4. Resolution to encourage Lifeway to consider Ayn Rand’s Fountainhead and Atlas Shrugged as central curriculum for Vacation Bible School in 2012.

3. Resolution to dismiss all Mayan and Hollywood claims the world will end in 2012 as bogus examples of New Age philosophy, paganism and postmodern hokum in which all Apocalyptic claims outside the parameters of Biblical literature are given a voice in our highly “spiritual but not religious” society of tolerance for all besides those giving the truth of Revelation. An addendum by Acts 29 Baptist pastors to reprimand John Cusack for his participation in this film, while praising him for all other roles was summarily dismissed by the Executive Committee.

2. Resolution to boycott Sex in the City 2 as not only an immoral film pushing promiscuity, alcoholism, hedonism and a homosexual agenda, but also an awful movie that was not even funny. We will consider a resolution condemning Transformers 3 next year for being even worse.

1. Resolution to commend Glenn Beck for standing up to the left-wing Sojourners organization and Jim Wallis and his insistence that Social Justice is a mark of Christianity. Social and Economic redistribution of resources, while a mark of the early church, are not central tenants of modern American Baptist Christianity and not within our Baptist Faith and Message, 2000. While churches may choose to give money and help to the poor, they are not to advocate politically except on issues of morality, such as abortion, taxation, Federalism, school vouchers, homosexuality, the 2^nd Amendment, Islamic invasions and the heredity of the President.

The resolution to ignore the Emerging Church movement as inconsequential and unworthy of discussion was tabled until 2011.

If you want to see what kind of resolutions Southern Baptists are really considering this week, Big Daddy Weave is actually helpful (as opposed to me, which is not).

Southern Baptists extend invitation to University of Texas and other Big 12 schools

Resolution concerning Expansion of Southern Baptist Convention and the Kingdom of God through the Great Commission Resurgence and Conference Realignment

June 15, 2010

WHEREAS, Historically, Southern Baptists have resisted ecumenism while embracing Christian brotherhood and cooperation with other groups representing Christianity and

WHEREAS, We have witnessed in recent years the portrayal of denominations as barriers to be overcome on the road to unity; and

WHERAS, WE have seen millions of college age Christians leave the faith of their parents behind while studying for future employment and enjoying college sporting events; and

WHEREAS, Southern Baptists must be radically committed to the expansion of the Kingdom of God and the influence of the Southern Baptist Convention by new and innovative means in the face of post-modernity and the increasing hostility to Biblical Christianity, including the Great Commission Resurgence; and

WHEREAS, Southern Baptist influence is strongest in the region of the country under the dominion of the Southeastern Conference (SEC) and Big 12 Conference; and

WHEREAS, interlopers representing Hedonistic interests of the Secular PAC 10 and the Catholic Rust Belt controlled Big 10 have begun to expand their reach into regions under the jurisdiction of the BIG 12 and Southern Baptists, stealing universities from non-SBC strongholds Colorado and Nebraska; and

WHEREAS, True Biblical unity can only be realized in the bond of truth, and never at the expense of Biblical truth; Now, therefore,

BE IT RESOLVED, That the Southern Baptist Convention meeting, June 15-17, 2010, in Orlando, FL, urges the Boards and Agencies of the Southern Baptist Convention to offer membership into the Southern Baptist Convention to the University of Texas, Texas A&M, Oklahoma, Texas Tech, Missouri and Oklahoma State, as well as maintaining the historic position of Southern Baptists as they cooperate with various other groups in appropriate evangelistic enterprises, and on issues of justice, morality, religious liberty, education and FOOTBALL both at home and abroad; and

BE IT FURTHER RESOLVED, That inclusion of the Baylor University, a Texas Baptist affiliated university, is dependent upon both obedience to the doctrines of the Southern Baptist Message and Faith, 2000 and the improvement of its football program; and

BE IT FURTHER RESOLVED, That inclusion of the University of Kansas, Kansas State University and Iowa State University into the Southern Baptist Convention’s expansion plans is dependent upon greater success in football, as the expense of “urban” sports such as basketball; And

BE IT FURTHER RESOLVED, That the Southern Baptist Convention membership urges the Southeastern Conference (SEC) to consider membership and inclusion of the new SBC related college programs at its next Annual Meeting, and that the previous BIG 12 prayerfully considers the offer from both the Southern Baptist Convention and SEC.

BE IT FURTHER RESOLVED, That such efforts not commit Southern Baptists to any organizational or long-term relationship which would risk possible compromise of historic distinctive or the unique witness of Southern Baptists to the world and football related activities; and

FINALLY, BE IT RESOLVED, That we encourage Southern Baptists to maintain their commitment to the SouthEastern Conference (SEC) by giving priority in time, talent and resources to the work of this football and Christianity influenced region.

SBC resolution on Thomas Kinkade's DUI

Digging through the stacks of resolutions at this year's Southern Baptist Convention meeting in Orlando, I stumbled across this resolution, in wake of "painter" Thomas Kinkade's recent DUI arrest.

Resolution on Thomas Kinkade’s DUI and SBC memberships ownership of his paintings

WHEREAS, Southern Baptists have for many over ten years have enjoyed and trusted Thomas Kinkade’s paintings of light which have reinforced basic Christian American virtues and values; and

WHEREAS, The virtues promoted by Kinkade have contributed to the development of an industry in which Christians are willing to express their faith through the display of landscapes extolling those values with the inclusion of wonderfully lit churches, homes and schools; and

WHEREAS, in recent days, Thomas Kinkade has given the appearance that the promotion of alcohol consumption is more important than his historic commitment to traditional family values, haven taken a direction which is contrary to the prohibition of alcohol consumption by Christians; and

WHEREAS, in recent days, Thomas Kinkade has been arrested under the suspicion of driving while under the influence of alcohol in California, a notoriously liberal state in need of God’s judgment; and

WHEREAS , This and other decisions and actions represent a significant departure from a Christian family-values image, and a gratuitous insult to Baptists who have long supported Kinkade’s painting career and contributed to his corporate profits; and

WHEREAS, Boycotts are a legitimate method for communicating moral convictions; now, therefore,

BE IT RESOLVED, We as Southern Baptist messengers meeting in annual session on June 15-17, 2010, go on record expressing our deep disappointment for these actions by Thomas Kinkade; and

BE IT FURTHER RESOLVED, That we encourage Southern Baptists to give serious and prayerful reconsideration to their purchase and support of Thomas Kinkade products, and to boycott The Thomas Kinkade Company and stores if he continues alcohol consumption, including the destruction of previously owned paintings and prints; and

BE IT FURTHER RESOLVED, That we encourage the Christian Life Commission to monitor Kinkade’s progress in returning to a lifestyle of tee-totaling; and

BE IT FURTHER RESOLVED, That we encourage state Baptist papers and national Southern Baptist publications to assist in informing the Southern Baptist family of these issues; and

FINALLY, BE IT RESOLVED, That the Convention requests the Executive Committee to send a copy of this resolution to Thomas Kinkade and to encourage the Southern Baptist family to support this boycott with our purchasing power, letters and influence.

in case you are wondering, the text of this is very similar to the 1996 SBC Resolution to Boycott Disney

realignment fever is not just for colleges. It is for churches, too.

Orlando- The past few weeks have seen a flurry of activity among NCAA universities as the Big 10 began the present flurry of activity of mascot trading among athletic conferences. Power conferences such as the Big 10 and Pac-10 attempt to expand their horizons into new territories in a Jabez-esque fashion while the Big 12 fails to keep the hordes of marauding orcs of the Sauron-like commissioners of those conferences outside their gates. In its typically copycat fashion, the Christian church has chosen to respond in similar fashion.

At a recent meeting of the leaders of the Gospel Coalition and Southern Baptist Convention in advance of the SBC meeting in Orlando, FL, possible expansion was discussed. It is believed that the Gospel Coalition, consisting of SBC pastors, as well as those of other conservative denominations and mega-church pastors like Josh Harris and Mark Driscoll, is willing to allow itself to move to this powerful conference. However, negotiations hit snags on 2 main issues, Infant Baptism and alcohol.

The SBC has offered membership to all Gospel Coalition represented churches, even those that practice Infant Baptism. However, each of these churches must show willingness to change its view on alcohol consumption. Convention spokesman, Lewis Granger told reporters, “We are willing to take the bold step of offering membership to practitioners of infant baptism for the sake of expanding our membership base and creating new revenue sources coming from an increased number of churches. However, we will not release our convictions that alcohol consumption, while not specifically banned in the Bible, is wrong. No increase in numbers of young people will change that. Plus, as we know, they can still drink. They just keep it on the down low.”

Gospel Coalition members from Presbyterian churches, as well as Mars Hill Church in Seattle have released a statement that they will not join the new expanded SBC. Instead they will create a mega-conference with the American Anglican Church, Presbyterian Church in America, the Origins network and conservative branches of mainline denominations in which alcohol consumption is not forbidden. Invitations are to be extended next week.

Seeing these realignments as a threat to their existence, the Emerging Church networks have chosen to formalize membership and admit to its Liberal leanings by creating a new conference (“we are not a denomination,” explains spokesman Steve Knight). The groundwork has been laid in the past, but invitations will be given to major US denominations, including the Presbyterian Church(USA), United Methodist Church, United Church of Christ and non-Southern Baptist baptist groups. Hopes are growing amongst the leaders of these groups.

Says Knight, “We expect to compete in the future with the mega-SBC and Gospel/ Beer Coalition for book deals, events as well as people. As you may know, our openness on pretty much every subject, besides social justice, ecumenism and economic redistribution make us attractive to anyone left of center on anything. We have asked most African American denominations to join, but our lack of relevance to their daily lives leads them to consider staying put. We will keep asking, and keep growing.” When asked if invitations will be extended to Sojourners, leaders of the new Emerged Church Conference were coy, due to recent incidents related to diversity.

Christianity Today’s Andy Crouch believes this is just the beginning of a complete overhaul of the denominational structure of the United States. “Don’t be surprised to see some of the groups consider aligning with those groups they were historically predisposed to hate, like the SBC and Catholics or Mormons. I expect groups like the Emerged Church to join forces with Reformed Judaism and Buddhism. However, their overtures to Islam will be rebuffed. Islam does not need them as it expands on its own.”

Free agents like Rob Bell, Donald Miller and Tim Keller are yet to announce their future plans, leading to speculation they will begin their own conference.

Family Research Council Celebrates Rush Limbaugh's 4th Marriage

Press Release

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: June 6, 2010
CONTACT: _________________, (866) FRC-NEWS

Family Research Council joins with Focus on the Family and the Christian Coalition in Congratulating Rush Limbaugh on the occasion of his 4^th Marriage

WASHINGTON, D.C. - The Family Research Council joins with other family values organizations, including the Traditional Values Coalition, Focus on the Family, the Christian Coalition and the Eagle Forum in celebrating the recent marriage of pro-family values proponent Rush Limbaugh.

This is the fourth time Mr. Limbaugh has consecrated himself to the most sacred of institutions, the marriage of a heterosexual man to a heterosexual woman, both of Christian stock. Limbaugh, 59, married Kathryn Rogers, 33 at a beautiful wedding extolling the primacy of Christ while Elton John sang Candle in the Wind and Rocketman to the 400 guests, most of whom represented traditional Christian/ American values like marriage, free market capitalism and heterosexuality. The guest list included Rudy Giuliani (entered the sacred covenant of marriage 3 times), Newt Gingrich (entered the covenant 3 times), Sean Hannity, Mark Sanford, John Ensign and Larry Craig.

Mr. Limbaugh has supported the same family friendly agenda advocated by Family Research Council and been a friend and supporter of traditional values for decades. His former wives have also supported our many causes. He and Gingrich have been at the forefront of reminding America that it is strengthened by Family and Faith (along with military power, guns, lower taxes and free-market capitalism) serving on numerous committees and boards dealing with Covenant Marriage and other such endeavors. Each has become a revered expert on what it takes for marriage to work. We are proud to call such Family Men our friends.

Elton John’s performance at the wedding has caused controversy among many other conservative groups. However, John is not a supporter of gay marriage, only civil unions, which are opposed by the FRC. However, he is British. We cannot expect Christian values from those in Godless Europe. Also, the music of Elton John is popular among the staff at the FRC, as long as it is freely downloaded and no resources are put in the pocket of those with a gay agenda.

Area resident and former Republican congressman Mark Foley (gay) was barred from the wedding at the request of traditional values leadership.