3rd Album Theory (part 5, The Pantheon)

Pantheon Artists prove their greatness by album #3. These artists are like the NBA greats (Jordan, Bird, Magic, Duncan, Kobe), while the newer artists are like the NBA players that are on the cusp of all time greatness (Durant, Lebron, Wade, Carmelo and Paul). The obvious Pantheon Artists and their 3^rd album masterworks:

U2- War (and they kept improving on the next 3 albums)

Radiohead- O.K. Computer

Talking Heads- Fear of Music

Prince- Dirty Mind (you knew he was special and not even close to attaining what he was capable of)

The Clash- London Calling

Bruce Springsteen- Born to Run

David Bowie- The Man Who Sold the World

Jimi Hendrix- Electric Ladyland

The Who- The Who Sell Out

Led Zepplin- Led Zepplin III (not their best album, but still amazing)

The Velvet Underground- The Velvet Underground

Otis Redding- Otis Blue: Otis Redding Sings Soul

Metallica- Master of Puppets

Al Green- Al Green Gets Next To You

Elvis Costello- Armed Forces

Run- DMC- Raising Hell

The Smiths- The Queen is Dead

Not so obvious, but worth debating. For some it is too early to tell, while others may lead to people to disagree because their greatness is debated (i.e. Tom Petty, White stripes, Eminem, Aerosmith). But each of those created something masterful on number 3 and have sustained an excellent career arc:

The National- Alligator (sure, too early to tell and no one owns this album, but wow)

New Pornographers- Twin Cinema

The White Stripes- White Blood Cells (let the angry comments begin again)

The 77s- The 77s

The Choir- Chase the Kangaroo

Eminem- the Marshal Mathers Album

Aerosmith- Toys in the Attic (this surprised me, but I have to include it)

Ramones- Rocket to Russia

The Hold Steady- Boys and Girls in America

Tom Petty- Damn the Torpedoes

Vigilantes of Love- Killing Floor

Husker Du- Zen Arcade

3rd Album Theory (part 4, near greatness attained but not pantheon was shown by #3)

These artists did not hit complete stride until #4 or later (or we are waiting) with notable exceptions. They are GREAT artists and these are excellent albums, but not masterpieces. Therefore these artists are not transcendent/ pantheon artists. I compare these musicians to high level superstars in basketball (Stockton, Robinson, Malone, Shaq, Dr. J).

First of all, 3 that I am putting here with HUGE reservations. I want them on the Pantheon list, but will put them here for argument's sake:

R.E.M. - Fables of the Reconstruction (I am continually arguing with myself on this album. But, the formula decided they peaked on #4 & beyond, therefore they are not pantheon. It hurts to say it.)

The Replacements- Hootenanny (one of my pantheon bands, but I admit they may be a step below. But, man were the next 3 albums great! I was thinking of putting them down as an exception because I think they are pantheon.)

Outkast – Aquemini

Here are 2 that I am willing to revisit:

TV on the Radio – Dear Science

Frightened Rabbit- The Winter of Mixed Drinks (this frustrates me because this is a wonderful album, but not the masterpiece I had hoped would elevate them to future pantheon status. We could re-evaluate this album and find them on Mt Olympus. I hope so.)

Not quite Pantheon:

Jay Z- Vol. 2… Hard Knock Life

Public Enemy- Fear of a Black Planet (interesting case, because their masterpiece is album #2 and they never reached such heights again. But this is a very good LP))

Madonna- True Blue

Wilco- Summerteeth

Pearl Jam- Vitalogy

The Police- Zenyattà Mondatta

Smashing Pumpkins- Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness

Nine Inch Nails- the Downward Spiral

Sigur Rós- ( )

Queen- Sheer Heart Attack

New Order- Low Life

Drive-by Truckers- Southern Rock Opera

Kiss- Dressed to Kill

ACDC- High Voltage

Tupac- Me Against the World (3^rd solo- his 3^rd album was w/ Thug Life)

Guns n’ Roses- Use Your illusion 1 and 2

Elton John- Tumbleweed Connection

Bright Eyes- Fevers and Mirrors

Roxy Music- Stranded

Lyle Lovett- Lyle Lovett and His Large Band

My Morning Jacket- It Still Moves (however, their first album was pretty raw and self made. If Z is considered their 3^rd album proper, they may need to be considered for future pantheon status)

Muse- Absolution

Spoon- Girls Can Tell

Sting- the Soul Cages

Sufjan Stevens- Michigan

3rd Album Theory (part 3, negative proof)

These artists proved they are not great upon release of #3 (so many of these bands had great 2^nd albums). Many of these artists are very good, kinda like an NBA All Star that will never make the HOF-some just never lived up to their potential (Bosh, Vince Carter, Tracy McGrady):

Coldplay- X & Y

System of a Down- Mesmerize (or Steal this Album depending which you thing is the really #3. Ultimately it doesn’t matter. Both are mediocre.)

The Cure- Faith (let the hateful comments commence. I don’t want them here, but the formula demands their inclusion here)

James Taylor- One Man Dog (told you so)

Blitzen Trapper- Destroyer of the Void (after their 2^nd album, I had high hopes)

Oasis- Be Here Now

Kanye West- Graduation (I am of the belief that he started with perfection and each album has been not as good as the preceding album)

Weezer- The Green Album (very good, but not after Pinkerton)

Lynyrd Skynyrd- Nuthin’ Fancy (this one hurts to put here)

Van Halen- Women and Children First

ABBA- ABBA (after reaching the heights of Waterloo on #2 and never again attaining it)

Eagles- On the Border

The Cars- Panorama (talk about a band peaking early- one of the best debut albums ever. Inclusion of the Cars hurts immensely)

The Cranberries- To the Faithful Departed

Duran Duran- Seven and the Ragged Tiger

The Gaslight Anthem- American Slang (decent album, but I had high hopes)

Kings of Leon- Because the Times

3rd Album Theory (part 2, the exceptions and complex cases))

Exceptions to the Rule, or complex cases

Pink Floyd is the most notable exception to my rule, but their band members were freaking out on heavy drugs during that time period and lacked a cohesive vision during their early years after Syd Barrett left.

Billy Joel is a confusing one due to his first album’s weakness and lack of solid production. Maybe he started before he was ready. He reminds me of a guy that left college too early for the NBA. I left him off due to it. Also, he may not be as good as I remember from childhood. Same thing with Jackson Browne.

Micheal Jackson does not fit into my scheme due to the lack of control for many of his early albums. Plus, I think he peaked on Off the Wall and Thriller and never was a pantheon musician, only a pantheon performer. If he were still alive, he would not be considered so god-like (look at where he ranked on lists of the great musicians of all time pre-death).

Songs of Love and Hate by Leonard Cohen is an exception to the rule. It is okay, but he is pantheon (maybe he was never a full album guy as much as a song guy).

Green Day confuses me also (Dookie is their #3). Are they merely decent or near that level below pantheon status. I am afraid they had one or two great albums in them, and that is it.

I don’t know what to do with Josh Ritter. He is heading steadily downhill after #4 (#3 is Hello Starling).

Mewithoutyou gave us Brother Sister as #3, a spectacular, masterful album, but they could be done.

Wu tang Clan is also terribly confusing. They peaked on the first couple of albums, as did NWA before crumbling under the weight of the personalities, even if there were 3^rd and 4^th albums.

Ryan Adams is too prolific to know what to do with. He gives us so much crap because I think he is a song guy, not an album guy.

There are also bands that never realized the potential due a career cut short, self destruction, death or implosion: these potentially great artists include The Fugees, Lauren Hill, Nirvana (Bleach is an interesting case as a 1^st album and I still don’t know how I really feel about In Utero), Jeff Buckley, Rage Against the Machine (had great #3, but left before reaching pantheon), Neutral Milk Hotel and Jane’s Addiction (had a crappy 3^rd album years after their brilliant debut and sophomore albums).

Bands I am looking forward to giving us #3 in the near future include: Elvis Perkins who has the potential for greatness, as do Titus Andronicus, K’naan and Lupe Fiasco. Vampire Weekend could be in this group if they stop being derivative.

Any thoughts?

Tomorrow, negative proof of the theory

3rd Album Theory (part 1, the theory)- 5 part series

Want proof that Coldplay is not a “special” band? Their 3^rd album X&Y

Want proof that U2 is a transcendent/ rock pantheon band? Their 3^rd album War

Want proof the Beastie Boys are somewhere in between? Their 3^rd album, Check Your Head

Want proof M.I.A. isn’t quite the pantheon artist we thought she would be? Her latest (3^rd) album. But, give this one time. It (and she) may be.

Want proof Arcade Fire is either a transcendent/ rock pantheon band or merely a really good band? Wait until next Tuesday and buy The Suburbs, their 3^rd album. It will tell you (early reviews are looking good).

While it has been rolling around my head for a long time, the sharing of this idea is precipitated by the fact that many bands were coming out with 3^rd albums this year, albums that could define them because they had the potential for greatness or really goodness, bands like: Frightened Rabbit, gaslight Anthem, Blitzen Trapper, and the aforementioned M.I.A. and Arcade Fire.

For a number of years I have subscribed to a musical premise that I call The 3^rd Album Theory. The above examples stand as proof of this hypothesis, irrefutable evidence of my conclusions that the truly great musicians have created a masterwork by album 3. In fact, they have usually already given indication that such a work is just around the corner after a phenomenal debut and avoidance of the dreaded sophomore slump (or, if there is a slump, it is only in light of the perfection attained on 1 and 3).

Some brilliant bands like Radiohead have already attained a masterpiece by album 2 (The Bends), yet do not retreat into the safe confines of re-creation on the next go around, pushing the boundaries beyond the listeners' comfort level to attain a level of artistry unexpected, even by those with high expectations. The yang to Radiohead’s ying is Coldplay. After a well received first album communicating high levels of potential they dropped the brilliant #2 record on audiences, A Rush of Blood to the Head before retreating into the dreaded attempt at re-creation instead of inspiration. It is tantamount to a potentially brilliant director heading into the comforts of big money sequels instead of pushing himself to new heights.

Christian bands are the worst about following success with failure. The Christian band DC Talk gave us Jesus Freak, a brilliant album (#4) before doing what Christian bands do upon creating a commercially successful crossover hit that is critically respected. They retreat into the safeness of re-creation of the album without the same level of passion or ambition (see Switchfoot, Amy Grant as further proof).

Sure the theory has exceptions. Dave Matthews Band’s 3^rd album was Beneath these Crowded Streets. They have never come close to attaining such an artistic, critical high in the aftermath. I feel the same about The Decemberists so far, after the heights of #3 (Picaresque) but that is open to debate. Also, bands that were discovered late and created their first albums with no production help can attain greatness later. The Roots, Regina Spektor and Beck fall into this category or have the potential to. They are like a brilliant pitcher relegated to the minor leagues a little too long.

The other caveat is the 60s. We must remember that until the mid-60s, the album was merely a receptacle for individual songs. Aside from jazz musicians, popular musicians were not thinking cohesively about albums on a regular basis. This is why Bob Dylan (early albums were great, but not cohesive until #5 Bringing It All Back Home), The Beach Boys (I would argue that Pet Sounds is really their 3^rd album) and The Beatles (I would argue that Rubber Soul is really their 3^rd album), along with the Rolling Stones (again, either Aftermath or Their Satanic Majesty’s Request is 3^rd), Marvin Gaye, Bob Marley and Stevie Wonder (Talking Book is the 3^rd album he had the power to create) did not perfect the art of the album until they had the power to create art out of their singular vision as opposed to the record company execs concerned merely with singles and the quick buck (Oh my goodness, history is cyclical in nature). Only when they realized that the album gave them a higher profit margin and kept the artist happy did executives yield to the new art form.

However, since the advent of the album as the definition of self sustained musical vision, a number of artists have attempted to create perfection, with some attaining it numerous times (U2, The Beatles, Radiohead and Prince), while others have merely given listeners one perfect album for which we should be grateful (Wilco, Jeff Buckley, Public Enemy and Lauren Hill).

Sadly, the future does not look good for albums. With iTunes and downloading singles, along with pirating, we have re-entered the era of singles. However, it is my hope that other artists will be inspired by the great works of the past to create their own singular albums... just know that if they ain't done it by #3, they ain't going on Mount Olympus.

tomorrow, exceptions to the rule

Macheads-not that there's anything wrong with that

A documentary about people with a slavish devotion to Apple products, not that anyone reading this blog would know any such strange and tragic figures. Still, worth a watch to see the type of people that are nothing like any of those reading this blog on their Macs, iPads and iPhones.

Watch more free documentaries

I write like

I write like
David Foster Wallace

I Write Like by Mémoires, Mac journal software. Analyze your writing!

I kept running my writing through this writer analysis and it tells me I write like DFW usually (when not doing straight satire) and James Joyce at other times. DFW is one of my favorites and JJ I can live without. While I think anyone with sloppy, stream of conscious, rambling writing will get these 2 (which means all bloggers), I will still take DFW- probably because I use so many parentheticals.

Some of my more satirical writings (the ones built like news stories) get compared to Dan Brown and JJ. My last Mark Driscoll/ Lebron piece got compared to Chuck Palahniuk which is frightening. I am guessing they get compared to Brown because they sound like crappily written pieces of crap that make no sense.

Free Agent Preacher Driscoll to Announce New City for Pastoring Live tonight

After weeks of discussion, sources are announcing that Pastor Mark Driscoll of Mars Hill Church in Seattle, the star free agent preacher of 2010, will be announcing his future plans live on TheChurchChannel tonight at 9PM from the offices of the International Justice Mission in D.C. All proceeds from the announcement will be given to IJM.

While it is not known what Rev. Driscoll will do, his entourage has been taking calls from pulpits around the world, fielding offers and crunching numbers. While many pastors have reupped with their home teams, others have chased the money and potential from church plants and established pulpits in other cities.

Speculation has reached a fever pitch in this summer of the free agent preachers. Already this week, Rick Warren has re-signed with Saddleback for the maximum contract, as have Andy Stanley and Bill Hybels with their churches. Ed Young, Jr. has announced he will be leaving Fellowship of Grapevine for the sun and fun of South Beach. A spokesman for Young stated that "we should not be surprised. The lifestyle of Miami is more conducive to Pastor Young's ministry gifts."

In fact, earlier today, Rob Bell announced via twitter that he would be leaving Grand Rapids, Michigan, a truly dreadful place, for the challenges of San Diego, California. Said Bell, in 140 characters or less, "yo peeps, Love G Rap but 2 cold, the Bell needs sunshine and a congregants w/ cash money. Trading specs for sunglasses."

With the other top free agent's announcements, the pressure is mounting for Driscoll, whose options are endless and ego demands a larger stage than twitter or a blog. Says a spokesman, "Mark has chosen to announce his intentions via television. He feels that the excitement surrounding his free agency is something that must be used for the Gospel of Jesus Christ on the biggest stage available. Sadly, no one on CNN, ESPN or Bravo took our calls. This is all we could get."

While potential followers and fans in New York, Minneapolis, Las Vegas and London are teeming with excitement, the congregants of Mars Hill Church in Seattle, the church he began in 1996, are nervously awaiting the announcement, speaking out on fan forums and throwing rallies, like the one in Seattle's Ballard neighborhood which drew tens of people last month.

Says longtime parishioner, Mike Stewart, "now I don't want to get in trouble with the elders for speaking out, but Mark is Seattle and Seattle is Mark. We built each other and to think he might throw away his loyalty to us, which is tattooed on his back, is sickening. To think of him leaving us for a city like New York saddens his fans. If he leaves, I am throwing away my autographed copy of his book Reformissionary!"

Another church member, speaking on condition of anonymity since she is female, said this, "we are all witnesses to his rise and we better not be witnesses to his departure. If he leaves us via television, it will be like a knife in the back and he will be booed when he comes back."

While some are speaking out, others are praying for Driscoll's love of Seattle coffee and its homegrown beers to draw him home.

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Cities vying for Mark Driscoll and odds:

Seattle (45% chance)- his hometown, Driscoll loves the city, built the church from scratch into a megamachine. However, the winters are dreary and he realizes it is not a world class city. The gloomy rock scene has seen its better days and jobs are leaving town. It is not as hip as it was in the 90s.

New York City (25%)- The potential of preaching alongside Tim Keller at Redeemer and having access to the greatest city in the world, along with its denizens must be alluring. One church with 2 mega-preaching stars would crush the competition. Plus, Keller is turning 60 and has indicated he is interested in retiring in the near future, leaving the pulpit to Driscoll alone. However, the cost of living is high. It is far from friends and family and the coffee sucks.

Minneapolis (15%)- With his mentor John Piper on a long sabbatical, the elders of Bethlehem Baptist Church are pining for a suitable replacement. Besides his mouth, Driscoll fits the bill. With his fierce intellect, reformed credentials and powerful preaching, the potential for growth is huge. However, many members of the church do not like funny preachers, as evidenced by John Piper sermons. Also, Driscoll does not like extreme winters where there is no water. He does like the challenge of going face-to-face with Emerging Church leaders in the city.

London (10%)- The chance to be in one of the biggest cities in the world, full of Muslims to convert or piss off, is alluring. Also, the beer choice is extraordinary, even if the coffee and food choices are mildly outputting. Most interesting to Driscoll is the chance to follow in the footsteps of his favorite all time preacher, Spurgeon. However, the extreme openness to all opinions would make Driscoll's message less offensive and interesting to Londoners and his form of humor does not always translate to British sensibilities. Also, the British men tend to be effeminate (and he hates soccer).

Las Vegas (5%)- An early front-runner, Driscoll is not as interested in starting a new church. However, he realizes in Vegas he can say anything he wants and it will be acceptable. Plus, there is so much sin for him to go after. In fact, he can preach a full year just on the evils of gambling and strippers. However, he understands that "what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas" and Driscoll is not interesting in his message staying anywhere.

Stay Tuned...