Emergent Idol Begins (the search for the "Official" band of Emergent)

Thanks to all for your opinions on the "official band of emergent," and its nominees. Today I am going to start running through the list of worthy candidates and over the next few days (weekends off) discuss why each of them can be considered or should not be considered mantle holders.

First, as always, here are some caveats or disclaimers.

• This is all in good fun. A few people on this blog and over at Tony's take life, themselves and blogs too seriously. They are probably taking their favorite band too seriously too (I am sure they are -sneer- Coldplay fans). Hey Coldplay fans- Gwyneth is not even a Coldplay fan. She is a Radiohead fan. Chris Martin loves Radiohead and U2, plus he thinks The Arcade Fire is the best band on the planet. Coldplay understands Coldplay's stature in the rock world. Follow their lead. Don't take it seriously. 

• In keeping with the above, I have created a new title for myself within the Emergent church world. I am still the National Music Coordinator (self designated). I am now announcing myself as Court Jester also.

• There is no Official band of Emergent. This is merely an exercise to look at the music and ethos of specific bands that share something in common with those considering themselves Emergent. It is a way to think about bands we have not considered and become introduced to new music that we may like.

• I did not include The Cobalt Season for 1 reason only. Ryan, a close friend, is already in the conversation. The idea of this to take bands that are out there and bring them in here. If we take the analogy of Guinness beer as official beer of Emergent, then a beer brewed by Emergent Village home brewers would not be the official beer, even if it really is. Got it? Clear as Guinness? TCS is the homebrewer that created a fine craft brew that everyone wants, so he travels around and sells his superior product to friends and families and they share it with others.

• In doing this exercise, I tried to consider a number of things. Adapting my ground rules for what makes good music to this conversation a few things may come into focus as to why certain bands are worthy of the title, while others are not. Here is a bit of the formula for good music, adapted to this setting:
  

1. Lyrics- are the lyrics fitting within the ethos and expressions that we consider emerging Christianity. I am looking at lyrics which express emerging principles on a global scale and spiritual scale (so, Radiohead works on the idea of emerging or postmodern ideals, but does not talk about spirituality often and Sigur Ros is a mostly instrumental band- so they move down a notch on this alone). Are they story tellers? Are they questioning assumptions? are they longing for something better than what we have? Are they prophetic? This is a biggie. It keeps the fires burning for VOL.
2. Sound- Is the music innovative? The problem most critics have with Emergent and the Emerging church is centered around its "innovation and change" to the norms. So, does a musician change the rules musically? Are they pushing the limits? This hurts a band like VOL and helps a band like The Arcade Fire (and Sufjan Stevens). All white folk guys are hurt by this. Does it sound like everyone else (musically)?
3. Passion- Does the band express "emergence" in their personal ethic? Some of these bands are quite involved in social justice, or are multi-cultural in make up. Some of the bands are expressing ideas in interviews, writing and lifestyles that are models for the rest of us.
4. Do I like it? Sorry. That is important.

There it is. While many that have expressed their opinions regarding the "official" band have focused primarily upon the lyrics, I am choosing to go beyond that limit. You are probably getting the idea of where I am going with this.

Here is the list again, with 2 additions (some will be dismissed easily).

1. Sufjan Stevens
2. Radiohead
3. The 77s
4. Johnny Cash
5. Beck
6. Bill Mallonee and Vigilantes of Love
7. Arcade Fire
8. Rich Mullins
9. Waterdeep
10. U2

11. Over the Rhine

12. David bazan (Pedro the Lion)

K'naan will expand your horizons

Over the past few years I have continuously sung the praises of Somali rapper (by way of Toronto) K'naan. His first album, The Dusty Foot Philosopher, is one of the most powerful albums I have heard in the past ten years among my favorite hip hop albums ever. Combining hip hop beats on top of African rhythms and Eminem-like flow, it sounds fresh enough, until you hear the lyrics which bring the reality of the African experience to our shores. On that album he disses gansta rap and reminds us he comes from the most dangerous city on earth, but positivity and poetry emanate from the poverty, pain and terror of his childhood.

His newest album Troubadour came out on Tuesday. I am not yet ready to review it (I don't believe in immediate reviews). From first listen, I am not grabbed by it like his first. But, that was expected. I was not grabbed by Pearl Jam's second album because I had heard nothing like their first (however, I still love album #2). A mind can only be completely blown once by an artist. Plus, I learned on his first album that multiple listens are needed to begin to appreciate it's complexity (the mark of greatness).

Luckily for him (and us), he has a major record label which is putting plenty of promotion behind this uber-talented young man. His first single Bang, Bang is the single of the week on iTunes (download it) and NPR is offering a review/ profile of the album where you can download Somalia (his single about the plight of Somali pirates) and listen to 2 other songs. 

Some reviewers and critics consider him a cross between Jay Z and Tracy Chapman or Feli Kuti x Eminem x Bob Marley x Mos Def. You decide.

Here is the NPR story.

Here is a mini review (you can hear 3 songs).

Buy the album here.

Music School: the CNN of Working Class People

Thinking about the recession and Emergent's blindspots with the working class and blue collar crowd that we must address for this movement to have relevance for the future of the church (to be relevant we must move beyond the elites and the poor), we must first listen to the lower middle class' stories*. As I stated a few posts back, it is my contention that the stories, issues and problems of the rural poor, trailer parks, ghettos and working poor will become the problems of the middle class, suburbs and upwardly mobile very soon (especially in the south and places where the line of demarcation between the classes is tenuous at best and the recession is causing severe strain).

I would like to introduce you to a couple of bands that tell the stories of the working poor, the middle American trying to survive when life has not worked out as well as it should have, those with a bit of religion (good and bad). While folk and country have the ability to tell such stories, I do not think the present day incarnations are doing a good enough job. Too much folk music is cerebral and whiny, while much of today's country music revels in an unhealthy lifestyle and glorifies it (the same complaint some have with rap) without maintaining the distance of a reporter or the self examination of previous incarnations. I believe this is due to marketing forces. Self reflection is seen as weak and people may not want to buy it- so we give fake nostalgia instead, the longing for a life that we never experienced (see Tim McGraw or Kenny Chesney for prime examples). This is fine on Saturday night, but not helpful as a work of art to illuminate.

The first band I mention, Drive-By Truckers, is a prime example of a band that illuminates and tells the story of a people. Like Chuck D calling hip hop the "CNN of the ghetto" DBT mine the depths of the southern experience, in a sometimes crass, but always compelling manner. In fact, they understand this, giving themselves a name that conjures up the Inner City and South at once, naming albums "The Dirty South," a term for a specific rap sub-genre from Atlanta and using the same subject matter as rap, albeit from a white southern point of view in songs like "Wife Beater," "Aftermath USA," "Too Much Sex (Too Little Jesus)," and countless others.

As you can see from their lyrics, this is not typical country music (if you have not heard them, imagine a combination of Lynyrd Skynyrd, REM or The Replacements and Waylon Jennings). This is a CNN of the poor rural south and I think it is becoming more relevant to the rest of the country and those ministered to by churches throughout America (I would say that inner city, mostly African American churches need to listen to rap- but many of their ministers understand this). It is hidden by those in our communities, but it is the heritage of many of those recovering fundamentalists in emerging churches, those angry at the church (some of whom still attend), those burdened with serious guilt and those trying to survive along the righteous path of good living (as DBT eloquently state in a song).

Here are some examples

Drive-By Truckers The Righteous Path(lyrics)- life is hard and people try to live righteously, the best they can even when they can't ("I don't know God, but I fear his wrath"). This could be the theme song of the men I grew up with. I think that is why it speaks directly to me.

Drive-By Truckers Putting People on the Moon (lyrics)- the anger and frustration of working hard and having no money as others succeed and your life continues on a downward spiral. It is written about the Reagan era, but holds a message for today. Hood's voice greatly annoys my wife.

2 others to check out, if you have time...

Drive-By Truckers 2 Daughters and Beautiful Wife (lyrics)- his view of heaven is beautiful and real (no theological niceties).

Drive-By Truckers The Southern Thing (lyrics)- DBT does not glorify the experience as much as it desires to walk a mile in the shoes of others and tell their side of the story, even if is hard to hear. This is such an example. The entire album Southern Rock Opera album deals with the "duality of the Southern Thing" I can appreciate.

________________________________________________

The other artist is from Minneapolis by way of Brooklyn. The Hold Steady is another story telling band dealing with broken dreams, Christian guilt (Catholic this time) and hard living (but trying to "stay positive" in the midst of it). Give some of this a listen. Imagine Bruce Springsteen if he drank too much and read too much beat poetry.

The Hold Steady Constructive Summer (lyrics) - a song of trying to survive with old buddies and dealing with the "damage" of his Catholic school upbringing ("I heard your gospel, it moved me to tears. but I couldn't find the hate and I couldn't find the fear").

* I think Tony did us a great service by choosing a truck driver to tell some stories of Emerging Christianity.

Lent reposting

as we begin Lent, here is a re-post of what Bono is giving up for Lent:

1. Wild Horse Riding
2. Getting stuck in moments he is unable to get out of
3. Running to a stand still
4. Finding what he is looking for
5. Holding me, Thrilling me, Kissing me, Killing me
6. Looking for Nameless Streets
7. His desire
8. Making it on his own
9. Waking up dead men
10. Walking on

original

_________________________________________________

Here are my original lists of the Easiest things to give up for Lent (including listening to parental advice and dog fighting), the things no one ants you to give up for lent (including showers, reading their blog and following street signs) and the least popular things to give up for Lent (including water, clothes, sex, talking and looking at those magazines in the checkout counter).

Lent Books

I usually find a good book to read during Lent that helps me experience the season more fully. When in doubt as to what I should read this year, I usually revert to one of my old standbys. Here they are.

Reliving the Passion by Walter Wangerin- one of the great Christian writers of our day walks us through the last few days of Jesus' life as expressed by Mark's Gospel.

It is simple with about 2 pages per day, illuminating to one's own part in the story of Jesus' passion and giving ample room for meditation and response to the death and 

resurrection of Jesus.

Bread and Wine: Readings for Lent and Easter, edited by Plough 

Publishing and the Bruderhoff. Daily readings from C.S. Lewis, Nouwen, Yancy, Buechner, Updike, Willimon, etc. 

Split into 3 sections with longer and shorter essays (which allows much skippage and returnage), there are some powerfully succinct writings in this collection, a challenge to any Christian during Lent.

Any standbys you use?

Lent Ideas

as we enter the season of Lent everyone has their own little agenda as to how we should engage. I get emails from too many groups with advice, ideas and ways to help their organization. Filtering through the choices can be overwhelming. Among my favorites of today is from Interfaith Power and Light (great organization with one of the worst names). Here is their Lenten advice from the email I received.

Christians begin the season of Lent today, which lasts until Easter Sunday on April 11th. Whether or not this practice is part of your faith tradition, it can be a renewing experience to try to extend your energy-saving habits one step further for a specified amount of time. If you haven't decided what to give up yet, you might try one of the following ideas or a few, depending on how far you want to go:
 
Buy more locally produced food. You can reduce emissions from transportation by buying from farmers markets and eating foods in season rather than foods shipped in from around the globe. 

Use alternative transportation to work, school, or your place of worship.  This is a good way to slow down and find a few extra minutes for contemplation during Lent. 

Eat less meat. Reducing the amount of meat you consume, even just one day a week, will make a difference in your carbon footprint. 

Turn down your thermostat. Grab a blanket and add an extra layer of clothing. Even one degree lower will add up to big energy savings. 

Try a media fast. It can be very rewarding to turn off televisions, computers, and radios a few nights a week and sit down to a board game with your family.

For info click here. 

My experience as the Evangelized

On Sunday morning my family traveled to New Port Richey for breakfast with my parents. As we entered Aunt Sally’s, a retired woman looked at my wife and children and asked, “are you going to church?” She must of noticed the incredulous look on my wife’s face, adding “to learn about Jesus (drawn out for maximum notice).” My wife looked at her and responded, “no. we are going to breakfast, as you can see.” The woman hmmphed at my wife and walked away. It took much of breakfast for my wife to get over the exchange. I thought of all the sarcastic responses I had refrained from (that all were better off for me not sharing).

It reminded me of how abrasive we can be when compelled to share things we believe in. When I was younger I was taught that when people reject the message we present (usually in the form of an evangelistic presentations), they are rejecting the message, not us.

However, I think when people are rejecting something, we do not understand they are rejecting us, not the message, usually due to our obnoxiousness. I used to tell people that there was no such thing as American victims of persecution for their Christian beliefs. There were only obnoxious Christians that were persecuted for their lack of tact or decorum (yes, I always overstate for effect).

I did find out one thing about me, as the evangelized. I do what most people do. I ignore the person and walk away, not engaging. My wife wanted to engage and probably converse with the person regarding our faith and how it would be better to be less abrasive. However, I want to get away as quickly as possible.

Nominees for "official" Emergent Band

below are 10 bands/ artists that I (or you) are nominating for "official" band of Emergent. You will notice that almost everyone is a white male. For this I am sorry. However, it is apropos. Emergent is still a primarily white male discussion (this is not a good thing, but it is a "thing") and its musician will be such. I tried to lean away from too much white folk music, primarily because I would rather bash in my skull than listen to many earnest white guys with guitars singing earnest songs that "mean something." I am looking at you JT and your ilk.

Where is the world music? Emergent wants to be the "world music" version of Christianity but it is not there yet. If so, I would nominate K'naan and Tinariwen, but both are primarily Muslim.

Yes I do know the winner(s). First of all here are some of the musicians did not make the cut:

David Wilcox- white guy folk singer. Cannot do it. Of course, he deals with spirituality in a way that is emerging and is one of the only white earnest folkies I can stand. Still. He is the "official" band of the older white element of Emergent, luckily it is tiny.

Coldplay- seriously. stop. never. they are the "official" band of bad youth ministry... along with the Fray and Snow Patrol.

Bruce Springsteen- he is the official band of America. Too big. Too all encompassing.

The Clash-we are undeserving of The Clash. Official band of cool 50 year olds that we hope to be some day.

John Coltrane- the namesake of one of my sons. Even though I would consider Love Supreme a precursor to the Emergent Christianity movement, we need lyrics. he could be considered a patron saint, especially if we wanted to be cool.

Bob Marley- we are not worthy of Bob Marley. An interesting choice though.

The Roots- Way too cool for Emergent.

Bob Dylan- We wish. Of course, there is a strong Minnesota element to Emergent's leadership, so he could be a good choice. He plugged in and changed the rules. He redefined himself countless times. He is the meta-narrative singer. But, he is too big.

Green Day- Why would I consider them? They went from snotty punks to deep thinkers with something to say, much like The Beastie Boys. But, no.

Moby- maybe for the vegan element in Emergent. I thought about him for a minute. Then I ordered a burger.

mewithoutyou- maybe in a few years.

Lauren Hill- she should have been, but she went kinda crazy and has not put out any music in years.

Rage Against the Machine- angry. prophetic. socialistic. this is the official band of the Jesus for President crowd.

Ben Folds- He is the official band of Rick, but not Emergent.

Here are your nominees, all of which I will comment on next week (you can give your insight, but it will not play into my decision. This is a fiefdom!):

1. Sufjan Stevens
2. Radiohead
3. The 77s
4. Johnny Cash
5. Beck
6. Bill Mallonee and Vigilantes of Love
7. Arcade Fire
8. Rich Mullins
9. Waterdeep
10. U2

Make your guesses or vote (if you don't mind your vote not counting- yes, I am disenfranchising you).

Emergent blind spot

I just mentioned one of the posts I am working on in the previous entry. However, I am working on another music related post. It is actually related to ministry, the emerging church, the recession, ministering to those struggling (especially the middle class) and a band that I think speaks to all of this at this moment, Drive-By Truckers.

As I have thought of emerging churches and the recession, I have noticed one of the weaknesses of the movement (speaking of me, too). In some ways I would agree with those that claim Emergent is a group of elitists. It is Elitists ministering to other elitists and the poor. However, we are not presently part of the middle ground. We are not good with answers and ministry to the working poor, the working-class or the blue collar; the people of my heritage that I ran from when I got educated.* This is a place the modern church, especially the fundamentalist church is speaking to (even though it screws people up in many ways).

I think this is incredibly important because those that may have considered themselves elites, or at least educated white collars are beginning to experience life from a working class/ blue collar/ working poor perspective. As our churches, neighborhoods and families grow in this direction, how do we respond? When the problems of the inner city, rural America and "trailer park" become the problems of the suburbs, urbanites and upwardly mobile members of society, does the Emerging church hold any hope beyond our theological discussions, told-you-so attitude and artistic expressions?

I think so, but people need to acknowledge these issues and consider the response (to people)... and listen to Drive-By Truckers for a lens into this coming (and present) world.

Any thoughts out there on this? Anyone else considered it?

*yes, I am generalizing a bit (when I speak of elitists I am thinking culturally and intellectually, not financially).

who do you think is the official band of Emergent?

As things have gotten terribly busy at work and my iPod has gone missing, I have not been able to take care of a couple of blog postings I am in the middle of contemplating, both music related (why else would my lack of iPod be a concern). Without the iPod, it is difficult to dig deeply into an artist throughout the day/ week. However, here is a taste of what I am working on.

Some guy mentioned Guinness as the "official" Emergent beer. I thought this was presumptuous until I realized it is as decent a choice as any, especially since it is not everywhere, takes a discerning taste bud, has a good back story and is universally respected, even though it is not in the league of the greatest brews in the world, it is probably the single greatest Beer in human history fit for mass consumption. I think the guy was complimenting Emergent with this choice. 

As I thought through his choice I asked myself why someone would try to come up with an official beer, unless he was trying to tie a product to a movement to give outsiders a handle. I then started thinking of other "official" products of Emergent. I am working on that. However, I am also working on the "official" band of Emergent. I think I am almost there. But, I cannot share it yet. 

It will not be who you think. If you have time, send me WHO you think I will choose (but not why, please).

ENMC's pick of the day. Buy this album for $1.99

When my friend Laci sent me the news of one of Amazon's best mp3 deals, I knew I must share with you. Gillian Welch's masterful 1996 debut, Revival is only $1.99 at Amazon. This T-Bone Burnett produced effort is a stunning album that will transport you from wherever you are sitting to a porch in Appalachia through her heavenly voice and hymn like renderings of songs you will think you know by heart, even if it is your first listen. The production is sparse and the lyrics are achingly beautiful, just like the area of the country and the bygone era Welch wishes to conjure. Calling her neo-traditionalist misses the mark. I see no "neo" in her music on this album (that does come later).

While it is not her best album, it is the first from a solid artist that chooses to release albums at a frustratingly leisurely pace. If you have only heard her as one of the sirens from the O' Brother soundtrack, expand your musical palette with this appetizer before moving on to Hell Among the Yearlings and Time (the Revelator). The song Orphan Girl is one of the best first exposures I have heard from an artist, right behind debut singles from Pearl Jam and select others.

By the way, our daughter Gillian is not necessarily named after Gillian Welch, but she was a consideration when choosing the name.

Happy 200th Abe and Charlie

Listening to NPR this morning, I realized what I had forgotten. Abraham Lincoln and Charles Darwin were both born on this day exactly 200 years ago. In recorded history do we have evidence of 2 people of such magnitude born on the same day?

I cannot think of any (my friend Jason likes to point out that Jefferson and Adams died on the same day). I did a little research and came up with these, 

Sam Kinison and Kim Basinger

the 3fer WKRP's Tim Reid, Paleontologist Richard Leaky and guitarist Alvin Lee

John Denver and Ben Kingsley

Condi Rice and Yanni

the 3fer of Lorne Micheals, pitcher Tom Seaver and Danny DeVito

Amy Grant and JFK, Jr.

Chevy Chase and RL Stine

Lenny Bruce and Margaret Thatcher (guy that got people cussing and the Iron Maiden)

Mike Ditka and Lee Harvey Oswald (3-4 defense and guy that stopped Camelot)

3fer of Pat Sajak, Hillary R Clinton and Jacklyn Smith of Charlie's Angels

Peter Jackson of Lord of the Rings and U2's Larry Mullen, Jr.

Tommy Lee Jones and Oliver Stone

David Copperfield and Mickey Rourke

Lynne Cheney and David Crosby- proof against Astrology

Nomar Garciaparra and Monica Lewinsky (the guy that got traded and broke the curse and the girl that almost brought down a president)

Roger Ebert and Paul McCartney

Alex Keaton's "parents" on Family Ties were born same day... weird

Edward VIII and Alfred Kinsey (guy that gave up throne and father of modern sex research)

Ed Norton and Christian Slater (plus the guy from Everlast)

the closest we got, but no where near is: Sigmund Freud and Richard Peary (North Pole explorer)

But all pale in comparison to the (1) father of modern science that changed everything about the way we look at the world and (2) the man that saved the greatest political experiment in human history from implosion while freeing slaves and pushing America towards the greatness it had claimed in the Constitution and Declaration of Independence (finally beginning to live up to its hype- but a long way to go). Both were brilliant, timeless writers that are unparalleled.

Newsweek has an article asking the question I thought of this morning. Who is greater? Who is more important or influential? Who had a greater impact upon society or changed the human trajectory more?

I have thought about it and could comfortably argue either position. Newsweek asks (on the final page of 3, "what might have happened if neither had been born?,") which tips the scales to Lincoln. However, in terms of influence, my mind leans towards Darwin, but my heart lies with Abe, especially with our new president.

thoughts?

I was born on the exact day as Jorja Fox, former star of CSI.. Does that count?

yet another hybrid "mergent" group

I came across another hybrid "mergent" group yesterday.

Emermergent

Those more emergent than everyone else. They are the ones
that decide who is emergent and who is not emergent.

Some brand this group "Emoremergent." The terms are interchangeable.

Other "mergents"

As some of you know, the Emergent movement has become a suffix during the past year or 2.The emergent village blog reported on it last year in this post, describing some of the groups.

What started with Presbymergent has since morphed into baptimergent, anglimergent, submergent (really baptisty/ they keep you under water longer), methomergent and moved on to AGmergent, luthermergent, reformergent and Covergent (Quakers) before getting to inclusivEmergent and the ultimate designation queermergent (which has gotten Tony Jones lots of crap).

After coming across the last 2 subgroups, I went out seeking the lesser know ones. So, here are some of the lesser known Mergent* groups...

Fundemergent

for emerging churchers that still like the KJV (or guys with tats of 1611 KJV on their backs, along with Celtic crosses).

Relevemergent

the fine line between Relevant magazine, cool churches with smoke machines, killer bands and hot java, but little theology and the Emerging church conversation. These guys like being cool, but they like poor people (kinda). They will do whatever it takes to make Emergent cooler (get rid of the theology, all the talk about post-Colonialism and start dressing better). These people like Rob Bell, but don't really get Rob Bell (they just like the glasses and video).

ORmergent**

I believe God wants me to be rich, maybe.. so I can help the poor after increasing my territory and believing God gives back tenfold. These guys already have television show and network in the works. "Prosperity and poverty in paradox" is their motto.

Islamergent

get rid of the Burka and plug in the amps! Pray 5 times a day, but sneak in some Sufism and Judaism along with your own tradition. 

Hebremergent

just like Emergent with less Jesus (who they think is very cool) and more candles (seriously... amazing, isn't it?). Rob Bell is thinking of converting.

Orthomergent

For those that love tradition. I mean, LOVE tradition, yet embrace modernity. This is a very small group made up of converts to Orthodoxy from other traditions.

Buddhamergent

actually all members of Emergent are secretly in this group. Yup, you were right about us. 

Pipermergent

Can you like John Piper and Brian McLaren? yes you can. You can believe the substitionary theory of the atonement is one of many, but the only one.

CCMergent

new magazine spotlighting Emerging Christian musicians like Cobalt Season, Derek Webb and the drummer from Jimmy Eat World.

Emomergent

for those that cannot stop whining about how bad the local church is and how no one will ever understand how much pain and suffering they have incurred through Evangelicalism and fundamentalism (and their girlfriend) and how even the house church and Emergent worlds are hurtful. They are easy to spot because they never take off the hoodie and you cannot see their eyes.

Scientolergent (or Emergentology***)

banned in Germany, popular with new Hollywood arrivals sick of Tom Cruise but embracing his teachings. They like the cliff notes version of Dianetics, hate Battlefield Earth and are into Beckmore than Chick Corea. 

Mormergent

Were the teachings of Jospeh Smith meant to be taken literally? Was Moroni a literal angel or a guy in the woods? Should Mormons return to their ancient faith, but with more black people? Should their missionaries dress snazzier and what does Tony Jones have to say when he comes to BYU?

not to be confused with Mermergent

Mermaids and Mermen that attended Brian McLaren's Everything Must Change tour stop in Atlantis. They are considering a merger with Shamergent. Big fans of the Porpoise Diving Life. 

The Familergent

members of the shadowy Christian political operation running our government that don't really believe in Empire... but still want to run one in the near future.

* a few of these are real

**OR stands for Oral Roberts, in case you did not know

***after this exercise, I ran across this. However, I refused to stop my list.

snarky comments on the Grammys

to keep you coming I am throwing a post at you...

some thoughts on last night's Grammys.

• I forgot they were even coming on and had no plans to watch them. However, it worked out for Kristi and I to do it.
• Jonas Brothers do not = Hanson. Hanson was a wannabe rock band that was caught up in the circus for a little while before venturing on their own path. Jonas Brothers are exactly what we think they are. Plus, as annoying as Mmmm Bop and other early Hanson songs were, at least they were catchy sugary pop written by kids. JB songs are pedestrian pablum.
• Whitney Houston. I feel bad. Seriously, I do. Go home. get help. Brian Wilson has a wonderful psychiatrist/ guru. Ask Brian for his number. Call Denzel and ask him to take you to church. It is like watching Britney... if Britney were 45 and still on the same road.
• This "no host" thing is idiotic. Just pay a comedian to entertain us with lame jokes and the occasional good one. During his presentation, Craig Ferguson of the Late Late Show reminded us why comedians are better at being funny and giving awards than musicians that can barely read a teleprompter.
• My view of Coldplay has not changed. Actually I may respect them less and musicians. Did they steal their songs from Joe Satriani? No, but they are so derivative, they probably stole their songs from lots of artists and then stole the songs from themselves over and over. If I want overly emotive high register singing, a constant crescendo and the same vaguely spiritual lyrics, I will go back to a contemporary church.
• Coldplay wins best pop performance- i get that. it is pop. nothing more.
• Coldplay wins best rock album- seriously? Rock? How can the same pop band win both of these awards? Lil Wayne is more Rock than these guys. Metallica and Kings of Leon (the only good nominee) cannot believe they wasted a Sunday night.
• M.I.A. performs 9 months pregnant. You gonna tell her no? Did not think so. BTW, let her sing. Don't give me all the other rap stars singing over her. Where were the gun shots during Paper Airplanes? No guts Grammys.
• Kanye West... I am done with you. If I want to hear you, I will find your first album, College Dropout and listen to it. You have passed relevance and are moving quickly into self parody.
• Glad I could hear T.I. before he goes to prison. His performance with Justin Timberlake was the best surprise of the night for me. That is what mainstream rap needs to sound like.
• U2. I love you, but that was merely serviceable.
• Paul McCartney and Dave Grohl. Nice energy, wrong song selection. And crowd... you did not even stand for Sir Paul. Ridiculous. Have you no sense of history?
• Is there a clause in the grammys contracts that John Mayer is required to win at least 1 grammy per year, even if he has not released an album? I guess so. Mayer is quickly becoming Taylor. I feel the same about Alicia Keys, but at least her award was pre-broadcast.
• Rick Rubin wins best producer and we do not get to see it on TV? Here is an idea. Show more awards on the Awards shows. At least record the good pre-awards and then show us the winners getting their due. Then cut the crappy stuff. You lose nothing.
• Loved how much love the incomparable T-Bone Burnett got. Alison Krauss, Robert Plant and the camera people understand the greatness of the T-Bone. I want to be as cool as Robert at 60. For an old rocker, he is aging more gracefully than Mick, Paul, Bruce or Bob.
• Justin Timberlake has a nice voice. But when he sings with Al Green it reminds us of why these AI era technically proficient singers have nothing on the soul of Al or Marvin (whose voices would not make it onto modern pop radio). No one does it better than the Reverend (and Justin sounds just like MJ- lets hope he stays away from the scalpel and small children).
• I think Gwyneth has a bigger crush on Radiohead than her husband's band. Good taste. At least Nicole Kidman did not make it on stage. I would have been done, even before Radiohead (I guess we should be glad INXS or Midnight Oil were not nominated).
• I do not get Kenny Chesney. It is like I am listening to cuts Jimmy Buffet and Garth Brooks left off their albums, for good reason. Country Fans- Expect more!
• How was Carrie Underwood's song "country"? I do not get it. Sugarland gets lots of praise for being merely decent. Oh yeah. It is the Grammys where we give awards for mediocrity and decent-ness.
• there are 9 Latin music categories. I did not know that. I hope it is asked when playing Trivial Pursuit or when I can win money for my knowledge.
• I enjoyed Neil Diamond more than Stevie Wonder. I should feel bad. I don't.
• Did you know Al Green, Kings of Leon, Bruce Springsteen, Mars Volta, Duffy, Bela Fleck, They Might Be Giants, Metallica, Rick Rubin, Peter Gabriel, Daft Punk and Radiohead won Grammies? Me neither, until this morning. Had I seen some of those wins, I would have felt better.
• Radiohead... Radiohead...Radiohead. Worth the waste of my time most of the show was to see Radiohead perform 15 Steps with the USC band. One of the best moments I have seen on the show. I am at work and not finding it for you, but look on youtube, if you did not see it last night. 

Cheap Music Picks

Some good new music from Amazon for cheap:

1. O Brother, Where Art Thou soundtrack produced by T Bone Burnett. This is one of the best compilations of traditional American music for the uninitiated and among the best soundtracks I have ever owned. I am eternally grateful for the Coen brothers and Burnett's collaboration and for introducing Ralph Stanley to the rest of the world while reminding us of the wonders of Welch, Krauss, Harris and the rest of these artists.

It is worth the price of the mp3 just to hear Stanley sing O Death. All this for only $5.00!

2. Double Fantasy by John Lennon for only $5.00. Let me proudly state for the record... "I am a Paul McCartney man." While John gets the glory, Paul was a better songwriter and singer. That said, this is a wonderful album and John's last. I bought it as a 11 year old and loved it. It stands up well to the test of time with gems such as (Just Like) Starting Over, Watching the Wheels and Woman. It is probably Lennon's most consistent pop album and evidence he was growing up and becoming more concerned with universal music themes and less agenda driven (which is fine, bu not for a Beatle).

3. Graceland by Paul Simon. I guess Amazon wants our money! This multiple Grammy winner is worth the hype. believe everything you have ever read about this masterpiece of world music and American pop. If you are below 30 you may know little about this album, but please buy it. While there are 3 great albums for $5.oo, and some crap, this is the gem of the day.

4. Mama's Gun by Eryka Badu for only $1.99. Not her best, her most experimental or even her most accessible, but probably her best combo of all 3.

5. D.G.T. by Paul Westerberg. I just downloaded it but have not yet listened. But, it is 3 songs by Westerberg (of the Replacements) for only 79 cents. It has to be a good deal.

innocent little email gets someone in trouble

She thinks that she was sending an email joke to some friends and it"went off the cliff." What went off the cliff? Her innocent little joke about black people. 

here is what the email said: 

"I'm confused. How can 2,000,000 blacks get into Washington, DC in 1 day in sub zero temps when 200,000 couldn't get out of New Orleans in 85 degree temps with four days notice?"

Unbelievable. Good riddance.

I am sure the new Chairman of the Republican National Convention would be thrilled to see her email. Instead of resigning, I wish she was sent to the new Chairman's office first.

link

everybody is blogging less

Not sure if it is the advent of twitter, the ease of facebook or the lack of passion surrounding the election, but most of the nonprofessional blogs I read have a lot less posting. Most of my blogging friends, especially those that are part of the Emerging Church conversation are blogging a lot less.

Anyone else notice the trend?

New Music you need to hear

Your EV National Music Coordinator has some music selections to share

there are some great releases out there since the end of last year. I will mention them here and hope to give full reviews of 1 or 2 in the next few days. Some of my favorites I am recommending include:

AC Newman's Get Guilty. AC is the leader of The New Pornographers and a pop music songwriting genius. While not the absolute perfection of the last TNP release, this has some of the best Cars/ Cheap Trick/ ELO influenced music around. He is smart, funny, poignant and as sweet as Orange Blossom Honey. His solo albums are not as lushly arranged as his TNP stuff and are not as consistent, but who cares. This is still better than 90% of the stuff out there and will be in my year-end Top 10.

Animal Collective's Merriweather Post Pavilion. I have never gotten into these guys, but they finally realize their potential on this album. They are becoming one of the more interesting semi-experimental bands around, finally creating the synergy fans of the individual parts have been expecting (guys like Panda Bear). This is smart, dense and danceable music.

Blind Pilot's 3 Rounds and a Sound. Another group of bearded Northwesterners making pretty melodies with acoustic guitars, but less precious and more interesting than Fleet Foxes. This falls square into the sensitive guy rock of Iron and Wine, but a bit poppier and more accessible. I dare you to not like the song One Red Thread. 

The Airborne Toxic Event's The Airborne Toxic Event. Smart lyrics and music straddling the fence between Ted Leo  and The National or Interpol. If you can imagine 80's era Washington, D.C. punk bands channeling a John Hughes teen flick soundtrack (preferably Pretty in Pink) with modern production, you can imagine what this album sounds like. It is fresh.

One album getting lots of press that is not doing it for me is:

Anthony and the Johnsons' The Crying Light. I have nothing against operatic transgendered musicians, but the hype is as over-the-top as Anthony's persona. It is quite solid and usually interesting, but not transcendent. He reminds me of bandwagon albums in the past that left me a little flat (e.g. Joanna Newsom and Joan as Police Woman).

Sports Gehenna

these are my final words on the 2008 football season. For some of you this will come as a relief...

I have a few thoughts on how last night's game fits into the anti-pantheon of worst travesties in MY singular sporting experience. I have considered many names for this Anti-Rushmore, but settled on Gehenna. These are the great HOSINGS, the Gehenna Games!

In my Gehenna of sports travesties,* last night's Super Bowl XLIII debuted in the Top 3 supplanting worthy games like Game 6 of 2002 Western Conference Finals, the 1999 Fiesta Bowl, Super Bowl XL, Game 6 of the 1986 World Series, Wide Right #2 and Wide Right #1. I could go on and on with this Bottom 10, but will not.

As of now, the 3 greatest travesties are as follows...

#1 Game 6 of the 1985 World Series between the Cardinals and Royals. The infamous call by Don Denkinger cost the Cardinals the World Championship. Never has such a travesty happened in sports history. Never has 1 call so obviously cost 1 team a championship. I wore black to my high school the next day and a black armband for a week.

link to the call

#2 The 1996 NCAA football National Championship (along with the 1997 Sugar Bowl). This is too complex to explain here in detail. However, in 1996 the #1 ranked UF Gators were defeated by the #2 ranked FSU Seminoles. Through a number of dominoes falling into place, the Gators were rewarded for losing to FSU and granted a rematch. That is correct, FSU beats the #1 Gators in the final game of the season and is punished for this by playing the team it beat for the National Championship. The Gators LOSE and win. There are a number of ways this could have been avoided, which I will not go into here. Needless to say, The Gators won the rematch that should not have been played, except the suits made it happen.

#3 Last night's game- Super Bowl XLIII. Never has a Super Bowl seen such obvious bias in officiating obviously effecting the final outcome of a game (yes, SB XL was even worse, but the final score was not as close). The calls were so bad that the Cardinals had to use their challenge to overrule 2 obvious blunders. The referees called horrible penalties (holding, roughing the passer, roughing the holder) against the Cardinals and missed obvious Stealers penalties (Holmes celebration in the end zone worthy of 15 yards on kick off). They even missed the first safety (luckily the Cards did it again the next play). 

If the final play of the first half and Holmes TD had been called the other way, neither would have been overturned. The video was inconclusive on both plays (yes, I think Holmes scored. No, I don't think Harrison did). But, the travesty was the final Cardinals play of the game. That was not a fumble, yet the referees chose not to look at the film... IN THE MOST IMPORTANT GAME OF THE YEAR. This is not acceptable and everyone involved should be ashamed and lose their jobs. Does this mean the Cardinals would win? Not necessarily. But, I will put even money on Kurt Warner and Larry Fitzgerald with 1 play in the end zone (especially with the 15 yards from Holmes' penalty and the 15 yards for some Stealer taking off his helmet) 30 yards closer.

And the world should have seen it. If you do not believe me, turn over the ESPN and ESPN2, along with sports blogs like Deadspin. Everyone not in yellow and black knows this and is talking about it.

On top of this, you should have been near Raymond James stadium yesterday. The Stealers fans were nasty, pasty people... taunting Cardinals fans (when they outnumber us 50-1) with expletives and threats, taunting Street Evangelists and looking like they will assault him, andsowing general mayhem and menace. Come to think of it, they make Cowboys fans look respectful. The Stealers fans have pushed the Stealers to supplant the Cowboys in the 9th Circle of Sports Hell.

Congrats to all in my Gehenna of Sports games. Go Cards!

In my alternative universe. I refuse to acknowledge the "champions" of their respective sports leagues in these years, along with the 2002 Lakers championship and a few others.

Ok, I am done. Pitchers and Catchers report in less than 2 weeks to Spring Training. C'mon, Manny- sign with the Cards for 2 years.

*these are caused by outsiders to change the outcome of something personally good to something very bad, of no fault to the losing team and due to no special play of the winning team. These are usually perpetuated by men or women in stripes, suits or umpiring outfits. There are the bad calls, etc. Bad luck can also play a part, especially unfortunate injuries, coaching debacles and cheating, but the rule of thumb is officiating.

Congratulation Stealers on their accomplishment

I would like to Congratulate the Stealers and their fans from _ _ittsburgh* on moving to the top/ bottom of another list, besides the one the referees and NFL have chosen to bestow upon the Rooney family (thanks to the officiating in SB XL and XLIII).

They have entered Rick's Ninth Circle of Hell Teams moving fast up (or down) the chart to an afore-unmentioned super secret 10th Circle. For a number of years they had lived in relative obscurity in Purgatorio or Limbo (Circle 1), only moving to 8 when the officials helped them beat the Seahawks in XL (circle 8 is reserved for those engaging in treachery and conscious fraud).

They are now in the 9th Circle of Hell, moving towards its center where the Cowboys and Florida Gators reside. They have joined the Miami Hurricanes, New York Yankees and Chicago Cubs and Dawyne Schintzius. They have moved deeper into the abyss than the Lakers, Houston Astros, New York Mets and LeBron James reside. 

* I will no longer call that team from that city what others call them. From now on, it is the Stealers and they are from a city that I have chosen to designate in a manner that realistically depicts its circumstances. The P has been changed to 2 letters a bit more colorful and descriptive of the city.

If this sounds like bitterness... It is. Nothing fuels rivalries and sports like bitterness.