advice to Pastors and Churches

as any casual reader of this blog knows, my family is looking for a church. As we have visited churches, sometimes returning to a church a second time, it has occurred to me that some of my observations can be of use to the pastor of a church, especially an attractional church which wants to "grow" numerically through its Sunday morning service. As a former pastor, I may notice some things that are not working in your congregation, things you may want to consider if you like people and want them to come to your church.* This is not seeker sensitive stuff, this is common sense.

This advice is for pastors and churches. I make it out to pastors, but it does not matter who sees it. I may continue this series as I gain more "insight." However, as of today, here are some nuggets for your chewing pleasure. By the way, I have been guilty of many of these on occasion. It is okay if you are guilty today, just know how it looks to others and think about it.

1. You are not that cool. So, don't try to be. Just be yourself. As Ben Folds says, there is Always Someone Cooler Than You (read the song, embrace it). Sure, you might be cooler than Pastor Fred from First Antioch Baptist Church of God in your graphic t-shirt, but don't try to impress me with your love of Coldplay, 24 or twitter. I would think you were edgier if you told me you were into Sacred Harp singing, cultural anthropology and folk dancing.
2. Don't try to impress me with your technology. Keep it simple and straightforward. You will always be behind the world, so don't try to keep up with Google or U2. It is distracting.
3. Wear shirts that fit. Don't raid Ed Young, Jr.'s wardrobe. Please. Heck, put on a freakin' suit if you need to. And, if you like those tight shirts, lose weight.
4. Don't make judgments regarding the Christian faith of celebrities, unless they are personal friends of yours. We don't care if you think Bono, Kanye or Jessica Simpson is a Christian. In fact, keep your mouth shut about celebs. It usually gets the best of us in trouble.
5. Speaking of clothes... don't dress like an absolute bum. But, conversely, don't look like you spend too much time, money and product on your clothing, shoes, tight t-shirt, hair or glasses. People notice. And they are not as impressed as you think they are. They are looking for a pastor they can connect with, not take to the club. At the same time, you are a role model... Act like it.
6. Don't try to do everything. If you are leading worship, preaching, making announcements, praying, telling everyone what to do and leading multiple small groups, then you are doing too much. It tells us you have a huge ego, are not a good leader or you don't trust your people. Spread it around, even if does not go as well as it does when you do it.
7. Make people feel welcome, but don't make them walk a gauntlet to get into church.
8. Make sure people notice the new people. Don't scare them, but let them know you notice and care.
9. Make sure the nursery, child care area is manned by competent, FRIENDLY, helpful volunteers. Don't ignore new kids in favor of favorite kid. Make sure family of new kid feels comfortable leaving kids there... like you have it together. If not, don't offer anything. And for goodness sake, be honest about what you have (or don't have) for kids on your website!
10. When people come one time, don't just add them to an email or snail mail list. This is nothing more than spam and it pisses people off. I now have an inbox clogged with crap from churches I will never attend (that is why I always give churches the same email I give marketers).
11. When you contact first time visitors (and yes... You Should), make sure it is personal. Make sure it does not sound like a form letter (once we got a letter from the pastor of a medium sized church- it was typed with our names handwritten and the pastor's signature copied). Don't just add them to that list (ask permission!!).
12. If a visitor repeats, make sure they feel at home. Notice them. Tell them you are glad they came back, even if (like me) they try to sneak out. Let them sneak out visit one. Catch them on visit two. If they came back 2nd time, you did not offend them the 1st. They put you in the "maybe" category instead of the "no" file. In fact, the 2nd visit is more important than the 1st. If you blow it, it is usually you, not them.
13. If a visitor shows interest, don't blow them off. Don't forget about them. Stay on top of the contact and don't play hard to get. You are not the hot chick from 8th grade when they are in 7th. You are the pastor. Pursue, but be respectful.
14. Smoke machines and rambling guitar/ drum solos... NO.
15. Do not try to sound like the latest hit band. You are probably not as good. Put some effort into your lyrics. Please! If you are not theologically minded, find someone that is. Just cause it sounds good and makes you FEEL close to God, does not mean it sustains or has any spiritual depth.
16. Unless you want a bunch of brain dead consumers, the preaching and lyrics of the music must be challenging, but not guilt inducing. Think about the entire service. You have a liturgy. Embrace it and make it better. Don't just sing, preach, take money, tell people stuff. When serving communion, take it seriously. Do it less and do it right! Explain it. Heck.. explain everything. Teach us stuff. Don't assume anything!
17. Offer some snacks and coffee, but don't brag about it. Wow! You have Starbucks. I will now come to your church. I mean, you just saved me $2.00 per week. What a bargain. Conversely, if you have fair trade (and you should!), let us know. And, don't just offer fattening donuts. You are a church and gluttony is a sin.
18. Be green. Be careful with paper, trash, etc. Recycle and let us know.
19. If you cannot preach, get someone who can. Take a class. Don't experiment on me.
20. Your church should not try to do everything. You cannot do it all well. And, don't brag about stuff you should be doing anyway. Don't brag about stuff you really are not doing (especially on the website. It should be an honest account of who you are, not who you want to be). Just let us know what you have going on and how to get involved.
21. If you actually value the place of women in your church, give them something to do besides greeter, nursery or back up singer. Your words betray you.
22. Don't just talk to people you know and like. Talk to new people, but don't pressure them and don't act desperate (apologies for how things are never help).
23. Value the feedback of visitors. Don't ignore their ideas. They may teach you something that will help you in your journey.
24. Value your people and visitors as much as you value your own voice, insight and vision. If you do not, you may seem like an arrogant -----.
25. Borrow from other preachers and churches. However, site sources. Don't steal without giving credit. Someone you stole from may show up and notice. If you borrow from the world (Starbucks, television, etc.), acknowledge it. We already noticed.

And last... stop trying to make your church seem so cool. It is not. It is church. Church does not equal cool. Your marketing should be honest, not an attempt to show how cool and "with it" you are. The more you try, the worse you look. Just tell us who you are and invite us along for the ride. I have seen too many churches trying to be cool and being inauthentic. If you are a suburb church, don't act like a city church. If you are all suburbanites, we will notice when you move your church into the city to be edgy and then drive home to suburbia. If you don't like poor people, justice and art do not fake it just to make us come to your church. You have turned important things into marketing points and propaganda. We notice when you are faking it, probably before you do.

* this comes from multiple visits to numerous churches. Many of the insights surround a church we long ago for a month or so, to never venture back into. If you think this is about you, it is probably your ego. But, then again, it might be because of you. But, it is probably about that other church down the street. But, if this sounds like you, think about it and consider changing.

Understand, this is not a bitter or mean post. This is me wanting to let churches know some of their best laid plans and attempts are not working. They look goofy and fake to many, but people are not honest with you (us). We are the naked Emperor and people are not letting us know we are naked. They are just ignoring us, tolerating it because they don't think the church is capable of doing it beter, putting up with us because they like us or never setting foot back in our churches again.

Emergent Idol #6- Rich Mullins

Rich Mullins is not the official band of Emergent. He is the Musical Daddy or Poppa of Emergent (the musical Lesslie Newbigin). Rich is the official band of narrative theology, along with someone higher on the list.

A guy with a legendary bad mouth (heard it myself) and a propensity for fine food and drink, Rich also was a simple living missionary to the Native Americans that did not designate himself Protestant, Catholic or Mainline, but an amalgamation of all of these traditions long before anyone else was doing it (he had a strong Quaker heritage). An advocate of social justice before it had taken root in the CCM community (and I still wonder if it really has), he could be considered the official band father of the entire New Monastic movement, too. He created such a community based upon the life of Assisi well ahead of today's proponents. He was truly a man ahead of his time, even if by only a decade or so.

I was lucky enough to spend time with Rich a few times over the years and his authenticity and oddness were a relief in the cookie cutter CCM/ Seminary/ Youth Ministry world into which I had entered. Whether it was a detailed discussion of fingernail clipping etiquette, roaming around a record store looking at Ry Cooder albums, being encouraged to mooch off his record company's expense account, telling a youth minister friend of mine to keep his pants on when he is with girls in his church, extolling the virtues of very specific alcoholic drinks or expressing his love of Bill Mallonee's songwriting while watching VoL at its height at a dingy Nashville club in 1994 (my #1 experience), I am more grateful than anyone can realize that I stumbled into his limelight on a few occasions as a goofy seminary student and young youth minister with nothing to share besides an open mind and laughter at his bizarre stories (including a classic about how hard he worked to get sent home from school as a child).

Rich was an artist that allowed me to feel comfortable that I did not fit within the confines of the Evangelical subculture I had found myself in. He gave freedom to those around him with his spirit, his example, his stories, his music and the profundity of his lyrics, which are still the high water mark of Christian music. He set the bar so high that talented artists like Derek Webb will never quite attain it and wannabes like Todd Agnew will miss the point all together.

His journey was like that of the Emerging Church movement. He began as a talented behind the scenes guy, trying to fit into the Christian scene. His first few albums were pretty mainstream, but gave us glimpses of something more. Even a corny song like Awesome God was special at the time. He was attempting to contextualize the great hymns of the past in modern language.

However, he quickly learned to move beyond that, pushing lyrics towards the disturbing, the obscure and the sublime found in the deepest corners of Scripture. He seemed fascinated with the dark edges of the Bible and theology, which many of his listeners ignored or missed. His music embraced traditional forms not heard by Christians outside of Appalachia and his albums became much more conceptual and thematic, culminating in the masterwork A Liturgy, A Legacy and a Ragamuffin Band (a juxtaposition of Christian liturgy and American heritage) and the under heard musical based upon the life of St. Francis, Canticle of the Plains (setting Francis in America's West- he loved messing with myths).

Like Jeff Buckley (to whom he is always connected for me), he left a perfect piece of art unfinished at his death, an examination of who Jesus was in all his humanity and perfection. It could have been a perfect companion piece to the works of Wright, McLaren and (name your own favorite). His influence is felt not only in the music world (Waterdeep, Derek Webb and Caedmon's Call, etc.), but in theological circles and among many preachers and emerging leaders. Very few musicians have had such a wide range of influences, especially in a relatively short career. The shame is that because of the Christian ghetto, he was missed by many music fans that would have embraced him.

Mr. Mullins, you are always missed. The world has a little less light without you and you left it much better than you found it. You are the poppa of so many of today's artists, theologians, musicians, preachers, and missionaries.

Emergent Idol #7- The Seventy Sevens (77s)

The 77s are not the official band of Emergent. They are Emergent's cool uncle that never succeeded to his potential because he was unwilling to sell out and has been forgotten about when he should have been seen at the harbinger of the entire thing. In fact, what I said of Bazan has been said of and by Mike Roe, leader of The 77s on many occasions, that his music is "too holy for the world, and too worldly for the church."

The 77s problem is one of timing. In an internet age with myspace, iLike, Pitchfork and Paste, they would flourish. But when they began, there was no forum to express spirituality in popular music unless you were Irish/ British or black. For a bunch of church kids from California making exciting music, there was only one place; the burgeoning Christian Music scene, one that swallowed up some of the best musicians of the era: Charlie Peacock, Jimmy Abegg, The Choir, Daniel Amos, Gene Eugene and the best of the bunch- The 77s.

None of these bands should have been used for proselitization or Evangelistic purposes. Like Bono without proper guidance, they were not propagandists, preachers, salesmen for Jesus or called to "help God across the street like a little old lady." They were talented musicians with vision, passion, chops, pop sensibilities and the talent to thrive in the alternative/ college music scene of the 80s and 90s. They were artists that just happened to love Jesus and would express that in their lyrics. Instead they were relegated to church basements, festivals and the occasional college radio hit, snuck in by a closeted Christian disc jockey (i.e. ME).

After two of the most exciting things ever produced on a "Christian" label and blowing the mind of weird Christian kids everywhere, The 77s were poised for greatness with an Island records signing and great reviews in Rolling Stone. Alas, it never happened. That self titled album is something I have discussed with the old guard in the Emerging church and each can express their appreciation for an album that expressed Christian spirituality in a manner so real they had never known it was possible. These guys expressed what was really going on inside most of us. We did not feel the Amy Grant songs. But, we felt The Lust, The Flesh, The Eyes and The Pride of Life. Fir that, we will always be grateful. The 77s did more for my spirituality than any preacher or youth leader before I turned 21.

The music stretched boundaries and could be hard to keep up with. Classified as an alternative rock band, there were shades of Pet Sounds-era Beach Boys, Zeppelin, traditional blues and soul, Cheap Trick (I consider The 77s power pop at its best) and the 80s college rock of R.E.M. Lyrically, they started out with traditional Christian themes, but much more interesting in their execution (first Christian band I can think of to deal with abortion, teen pregnancy, binge drinking or Edgar Rice Burroughs in a song). They moved to more confessional lyrics, dealing with the grays of human experience, doubt, anger and longing. Even their songs about Scriptural themes had more in line with theologians such as Hauerwas, Volf, Moltmann and Brueggemann (I believe they were there intuitively, not because they were reading those theologians in the late 80s and early 90s) than Max Lucado. Like truly great artists, The 77s were ahead of the cultural curve (which kept them out of popularity in Christian circles) and precursors to the emerging church conversations.

Bands that get to sing about spiritual matters and sell records at the same time should call up a guy like Mike Roe up and thank him for paving the way. The rich ones should make sure he has insurance. Without guys like him, bands like mewithoutyou and Underoath would not be on Alternative Press, record companies like Tooth and Nail would not exist, Sixpence and

Switchfoot would not top the pop charts, David Bazan would not get to decide if he wanted to be a "Christian" artist or a mainstream artist and Cold War Kids and Sufjan Steven would not have top billing at alternative rock festivals around the nation.

Which is a shame for The 77s, because I would put their output between 1983 and 1995 up against anyone else's during that era. Mike Roe has the pop sensibilities of Brian Wilson, the guitar God chops of Jimmy Page, the gifts for lyrics of John Lennon and a creative streak on par with Roger Waters. He was a chameleon with a voice that could sing any genre effectively. Too much talent and too little audience. He needed Paste magazine to exist 10 years earlier.

Mike Roe and The 77s cannot be the official band of Emergent because their heyday is pre-Emergent. They are like those theologians, pastors, missionaries and professors that pioneered new forms and expressions of historic Christian faith and spirituality underground, toiling away with little fanfare, but paving the way for the popularizes, the guys and women living on the edge and influencing everyone by making art as good as, if not better than U2, R.E.M. and The Cure, bands that should have been their equals.

I need to stop because talking about how good the 77s were, how under appreciated they were, how influential they are and how important they are to the emerging church conversation. It saddens me because they toiled in the shadows for years and have been forgotten.

The 77s on myspace

what conservatism is not good at and what Patrol magazine is good at

I have been trying to stay away from anything that smacks of politics, but I cannot help it. Hopefully this post will find resonance on both sides of the fence...

The wonderful Patrol magazine has brought up some of the weaknesses of conservative Christian approaches to culture and art lately. Below are a couple of links. What blows me away about Patrol magazine is that it is essentially a pop culture magazine written by a bunch of Christian college kids and grads from a college affiliated with a very conservative Christian group, Campus Crusade for Christ (who were important to my college spiritual journey). If this magazine had been around, or I had found more conservative Christian kids like these I may have had a different journey. I moved a bit to the left in most areas because of my views of culture, which were not mainstream Christian (however, they are mainstream at Patrol).

By not having mainstream Christian views of culture as something bad that needed to be transformed I stood out like a sore thumb, even in high school (while a Southern Baptist, I never fit in and never drank the kool aid, choosing to stick with the sugar cookies offered). So, I moved out of the ghetto culturally which pushed me to align myself with those a bit more left in their views. This also pushed me (along with my views on race, justice and the environment) to the left politically (albeit with a core libertarian DNA). This is also why I am not dismissive of cultural conservatism... it is my home and I left with no malice, no animosity and no burned bridges. I still love those guys and consider them family (and love it when I find myself in agreement with them).

So, I moved left because of my love of culture (music, film, art, literature) because I felt I had no home on the right. What I have noticed is, with the advent of the Internet age, enlightened Conservatives with a love of culture finding each other and making their voices heard, even those from Christian backgrounds. It is a new conservatism I hope wins out in the end. It will be very good for the country and world. I wish them luck and will cheer from the sidelines. I just wish I had found them as a teen or college student.

Anyway, Patrol magazine is the magazine I would have written for, had they accepted me, 15 years ago had it existed (or I could have started it- yeah, right).

So, here are some of the critiques of the way Christians and conservatives handle culture, by some in the camp (found the link through Patrol).

First of all, from the defunct Conservatism's Slate-light Culture 11 comes this critique by Joe Carter, the editor, formerly of Evangelical Outpost:

Conservatism works best when it focuses on culture rather than on government. Indeed, when it comes to government, conservatives are quite clueless. Unlike libertarians, liberals, socialists, Marxists, and other advocates of utopian political philosophies, conservatism has no idea how to build a healthy social and political structure. We do know, however, how to recognize a sick one. Just as physicians define bodily health as the absence of sickness, conservatives view the absence of sickness as the primary gauge of the health of the culture and body politic. Our political and cultural objectives, therefore, are similar to that of medical doctors – preventing and eliminating sickness.

I totally agree except for one detail. I think Conservatism, especially in its Christian form is not particularly well suited or good at the creation of the art which makes up much of a particular cultural language. It is, Carter states, very good at critique of culture (and I find myself in agreement much of the time when it stands up and says "stop."). This does not mean it cannot create better forms of cultural language than it can government (which it cannot do because it stands against it). However, it much be careful not to repeat its past mistake of substituting propaganda for art.

Read the rest of the article about self censorship here.

Here are some examples of good cultural critique of Christian and conservative approaches to culture, especially art.

what killed Culture 11

Conservative safe zones

why Christian film making usually does not work (hint- it is propaganda masquerading as art. not art with a strong spiritual bent)

Check out Patrol, and follow them on twitter. Let me know if you like them.

_______________________________

update: Read this great piece on Conservative journalism and the sad demise of Culture 11, one that attempted to fill the void (there is lots of conservative punditry and opinion, but very little good conservative journalism. Why, they are good at pointing out why they are right, but poor at telling stories). Culture 11 was pretty good conservative journalism with moments of brilliance. Alas, it failed.

Emergent idol # 8- David Bazan/ Pedro the Lion

David Bazan and his defunct band Pedro the Lion are not the official band of Emergent. For the life of me I cannot come up with a reason beyond, "I'm just not that into them." If I were to designate them, I would call them the official band of escaping the Christian Ghetto while maintaining your identity.

I appreciate the effort Bazan has put into artistic integrity, maintaining his Christian identity, but refusing to market or co-opt it for acceptance by Christians, who could give his career a boost if they choose. He has also resisted the pressure to go underground with his faith to gain acceptance in the music industry. He could find more success had he chosen the Dashboard Confessional route of emo-ish popular songs devoid of faith components. He has chosen the sticky middle ground in which he is "too Christian for radio and too secular for the church" or however the quote goes. This is a hallmark of the emerging church experience in which there is no false dichotomy between what is sacred and secular, what is acceptable to speak of what is not. This non-acceptance of the popular notion of what makes something Christian is the reason Emergent lives in such tension.

This quality makes Bazan and his band important for the future of the church and Christianity, especially art.

Bazan's strengths lie in his lyrics which are quite interesting, dealing with subjects as random as band life, pornography, fidelity and alcohol. He deals directly with real life and its struggles in ways few other artists of faith (main exception Bill Mallonee) choose. In fact, I see him as the direct descendant of Mallonee's legacy. Like Bill Mallonee, Bazan is a story-teller choosing to weave spirituality, hope, darkness and theological reflection through the lens of a musical novel rife with complex characters. If he were not from Seattle, I would swear he is in the lineage of Welty, O'Conner and Percy, all important writers for emerging Christians.

The reason he is not higher on the list is the music and his voice. Over the years I have attempted to get into Pedro the Lion over and over, knowing it is a hole in my experience. I own 4 albums by them and like them all, but I love none. An old friend of mine is an original member of Pedro and gave me great insight into the band, but it did not help me. I agreed with all he said, but cannot get over Bazan's voice, which is surprising since I like odd voices. His laconic vocal approach, coupled with the low-fi production remind me of why I was never into Pavement (blasphemy) or some of the other trendy lo-fi bands of the era (main exception Elliot Smith, but he had a great voice which changes the equation). With Bazan, I feel as if he needs less beer and more coffee. Kick it up a notch.

Listening to Radiohead this morning, I realized that Bazan's music is much like Radiohead's melancholy slow stuff, without the Yorke vocals, or even more directly Sea Change-era Beck with better lyrics and less interesting artistry. It became evident to me that I need a different vocal styling to create some tension between what is being said, how it is being said and the soundtrack behind it. When all are the same it becomes a bit boring. Change on factor and music becomes much more interesting (at least to me).

Anyway, I have lost focus. Bazan's strengths as an artist outweigh his weaknesses, enough to put him in the top 10 of Emergent bands, slightly ahead of Beck (now, if we could mix both of their strengths in a blender, we would have a perfect Emergent band).

Emergent Idol #9- Beck

Beck is not the official band of Emergent. He is the hip cousin of Emergent that tried another religion but we need to listen to (I would consider him more generational and musically emergent than philosophical). We want him to come to our Cohort or church or just hang with us and teach us some things about music we can steal for our churches.

While I am not going to dig deep into the catalog of Beck at this time, I would recommend Everyday Apocalypse by David Dark which devotes an entire chapter to the spiritual themes of Beck's music (sadly this is pre-Sea Change). What I find special about Beck is not his lyrics, which can be quite provocative and significant. I listen to Beck for his musical ideas and his ability to stretch the palette of what is folk, electronic, white boy soul. He has deconstructed each of those genres and emerged with a new form of music, at once as forward thinking and creative as Radiohead, yet accessible, fun and (yes) danceable.

In some ways Beck is the epitome of musical emergence and the ancient/ future (understanding that rock's ancient/ future is about 50 years old) ideals of today's new strands of Christianity. He began by melding blues, folk and electronic music on Loser, moved us to the white boy funk/ hip-hop of Odelay and Midnight Vultures, turned into Bob Dylan or Tunnel of Love-era Bruce channeled through Radiohead on the sad masterpiece Sea Change, went back to the future on Guero, brought all this diversity together on The Information and showed us the future on the impressive Modern Guilt, his most realized album to date.

He is the future of music and must be listened to and studied. I know; I have not even touched his lyrics, but they are only icing. The cake is the music.

Good Cheap Music

I have been neglectful of my duty as national coordinator for music at Emergent Village, forgetting to let you know about good music cheap via my blog, instead tweeting about it. Since some of you don;t follow me on twitter, I need to make sure you know about some good deals, including:

• Peter Himmelman's latest is free or pay what you want at Noise Trade, along with the latest by The Khrusty Brothers. See below to download Himmelman's latest. In case you have not heard of him, he is one of the great songwriters of the past 25 years, the son-in-law of Bob Dylan and a master of wordplay.

• If you want to torture your friends at your next party, know that The Eagles' Greatest Hits, Volume 2 is only $4.99.

• It only has 5 songs, but this sampler from the single greatest underrated band of all time (more than even ELO) is only $.99. Download The Cars Hi Five.

• Download one of the best songs from last year, Furr by Blitzen Trapper for free!

Rabbinical Consulting and Mentoring for Christians?

I have this idea I want to throw out there and see how you respond, so please share this with others and ask them to comment.

As one that works directly with chaplains, I come into contact with skilled leaders of different religions on a regular basis. One of those is a chaplain working periodically for my hospice. It is periodic due to staffing/ funding issues. This chaplain is Jewish and served as a congregational rabbi for close to 30 years. He has studied in the US and Israel and served as a nondenominational chaplain for a number of years, working directly with Christian patients and pastoral professionals.

As he is looking at semi-retirement (just turned 60, but he is a total boomer- former rock drummer, drives Harley, etc.) and trying to figure out how to make money during this time, it popped into my mind that he has knowledge and skills desired and needed by Christian professionals and churches. Since Rob Bell has popularized a more Hebraic understanding of Scripture, through his relationship with a rabbi (as well more emphasis on the Rabbinical tradition that Jesus taught out of), there may be a need. This rabbi's knowledge of the Hebrew Scriptures (Old Testament), The Talmud, Jewish tradition and practice is vast. His ability to share this with Christians is quite good. So, here is my idea...

My Rabbi friend should start a consulting business in which:

1. he mentors Christian ministers on a Hebrew understanding of Scripture, including the New Testament teachings of Jesus, Paul, etc.
2. he consults with churches on incorporating Jewish practices in their congregation (not the fake Jewish practices many churches are practicing*). This could include liturgy, Passover, etc.
3. he teaches classes to churches, ministerial alliances, etc. about Jewish practice, Jewish perspectives on Scripture, etc.
4. he leads retreats for Christians from a Hebrew perspective.
5. anything else that is thought of.

My questions are these:

1. would this be valued by churches and ministers?
2. would churches pay for his services?
3. would ministers pay for this type of mentoring, counseling and continuing education?
4. could he make a living, at least part time with this?
5. if it picks up steam, would you promote it or consider his service?
6. if I create a survey, would you promote it?

Full Disclosure: he is a great chaplain that should be doing this full time. However, there are not many area places hiring. I would gather no financial benefit from his business. However, I want to help him and see it as a cool niche. Before helping him out, I want to see if it is feasible.

Thanks for commenting (hint).

* in a meeting we were both in, someone shared the teaching of a Christian writer on "The Blessing" and its heritage in the Hebrew Scriptures and tradition, something that would not be challenged by most non scholarly Christians reading this book. The rabbi was aghast at how ungrounded in Judaism much of the presentation was. It was not historically or Biblically accurate according to Jews, but Christians choose to believe it.

Listen to This Now: Hospice by The Antlers

Robin Hilton of NPR's All Songs Considered mentioned on their blog that 2009 was already a much better music year than 2008. Considering the lack of great albums in 2008, this is not hard. He spoke of the obvious contenders, including U2, Animal Collective, Andrew Bird (overrated), M Ward and The Decemberists, along with some surprises, including what he considered the best album so far, Hospice by The Antlers.

Intrigued by the album name, I decided to pick it up. It is nothing less than stunning. An amalgamation of Sigur Ros and Bon Iver (hence, Robin's love) with pieces of Elbow, Radiohead, Jeff Buckley, Neutral Milk Hotel and Arcade Fire in there also, this 23 year old creator of an orchestra in his basement is a wonder to behold. Dealing directly with death, grief and pain, this is a surprisingly easy album to listen to. Ignore the lyrics and be transported another world, simple and dense. Listen closely to the lyrics and be torn apart, yet still transfixed on the beauty of the music created.

I have been listening to this album nonstop for a few days and find myself repeating it 3-4 times in a row before moving on. It is quiet, but heavy. It is worth your time and listening pleasure. Let me know what you think. Make sure you listen these songs.

and (warning: explicit lyrics you may not understand)

Listen to the whole album here.

The Antlers myspace.

So far Pitchfork has ignored them, which is not surprising. I am sure they will hate it.

hospice for churches

As some of you may know, I work in Hospice. I am the Director of Spiritual Care and Volunteer Services for a large non-profit hospice in the Tampa Bay area. Very seldom do I see actual patients, spending much of my time in meetings, making sure our entities are in compliance on issues I oversee and trying to come up with better ways to use volunteers and provide spiritual care to patients and families. It is not particularly glamorous or as heavy duty as those in the field on a daily basis.

I have come to realize that my job as related to spiritual care is to make sure our Chaplains can help decrease the amount of suffering people do as they die. That is it. It is palliative in nature. We don't heal. We don't cure. We offer support which will hopefully allow patients and their families grieve better, find meaning in the suffering and gain hope for the future (best case scenario). This is what I do on a daily basis.

However, on Wednesday night I realized I was playing the same role as one of our hospice chaplains once more. However, this time it was not with an individual patient or family. It was with a church. This church has been on the decline for a number of years. It was once a thriving part of a growing community, one that eventually began a slow decline towards crime, poverty, decay and "white flight." During the past decade or so, the neighborhood (which my family lives in) has slowly gentrified. It is now known for expensive 1920's bungalows, liberal politics, beautiful oak trees, along with crime, poverty and prostitution. In other words, it is a city neighborhood. And it needs palliative care as it dies.

As the neighborhood has regained its footing, the church has steadily declined. A church known for its progressive theology, social justice advocacy and community involvement has dwindled to 12- 15 active persons, most over the age of 60 or 70. The church houses a thriving day care and offers itself to multiple congregations and community groups (AA and such) weekly. The pastor also serves another church and the Parish Associate is a wonderfully spry retired octogenarian Presbyterian pastor. They are ready to move on and asked me to help.

Five years ago they voted to die. However, the church is in long term hospice care, needing to be given permission by its members to end, so something can rise in its place. Whereas some patients hang on for a long time because of unresolved issues, so do churches. I believe this church is waiting in some sort of limbo until its members know the future of the church in the community. While they are coming to the realization that their days are numbered and they will never regain glory, they are in need of people to assure them that death is not the end of church in the neighborhood and their years of work are not for naught.

That is where I, along with a few others, have come in. As a former pastor and church planter in the community, I wanted to encourage them that, while it may be the end for this particular branding of church, it did not need to be the end of a presence in the community. They could will their building to the denomination or another community of their choice. They could establish a church plant or revitalization effort with the denomination. They have many options. However, waiting is no longer one. To put it bluntly, life support needs to be removed after a will and future directives are established.

I hope we can help them in the writing of this will so the church can end its present life in the knowledge its resources and work are taken care of, confident in its place in the Kingdom of God. Yes, its members will grieve greatly, but it is a natural piece of the process. This church needs to be honored for its wisdom, grace and gift to the future.

Too often, other churches think that the Biblical concept that the church will prevail against the gates of Hell gives us some sort of Divine rite to continual existence. We think that church death is against the nature of our faith. We think that churches must continually grow. We do not understand that there are seasons for growth and death (another Biblical idea). There are natural life cycles, which not pumped up by endowments, should be allowed to happen. For a church to die and be reborn as another congregation is life affirming. To die with no future course of action is the sad thing. While some churches can live for centuries, some fulfill their purpose in decades, years of months. To see one die that has served its purpose well should be a time of celebration (like a wake), not just mourning.

Over my years of ministry I have told people each denomination that has a church planting or church growth department also needs a department of church death, so churches can die with dignity and grace, to be reborn when needed and to give their resources to other churches when they can not be reborn.

Right now I am calling it Hospice for Churches.

The 3rd most famous Elvis releases an album today

The sophomore album is out today by an artist with famous names that too few noticed upon the release of his debut 2 years ago. Elvis Perkin's debut album, Ash Wednesday, made my Top 10 in 2007 and his latest Elvis Perkins in Dearland drops today. I have downloaded it and will spend the time required to fully appreciate an artist of his talent. Besides the single Shampoo, I have spent precious little time with the album, aside from listening on myspace. From that and a few reviews I have seen, it is a bit different (a little more "band" oriented than the contemporary folk of his first album). Highlights of his first album include, While You Were Sleeping, All the Night Without Love, and Ash Wednesday (these are all youtube versions which will give you a feel). I love that Perkins does not want to be dismissed as a folk singer or singer songwriter, seeing himself as a recording artist. He says he "loathes the term singer-songwriter because it reminds me of open-mic nights and coffee shops and lazy chord structures." He is an accomplished musician with complex song structures which push him out of the folk festival crowd.

Elvis Perkins is the kind of guy that would get press just for his back story. The son of Psycho star Anthony Perkins and a famous fashion photographer, he attended Brown, focusing on poetry, before venturing out on his own to pursue music. His plans took a detour on Sept. 11, 2001 when his mother died aboard American Flight 11. It was 1 day less than the 9 year anniversary of his father's death from AIDS.

Out of such tragedy comes a work of stunning poetic art. NPR called him brooding, thoughtful and sophisticated with tunes that were catchy and timeless. He has been compared to Leonard Cohen, The Band, Neutral Milk Hotel and Bob Dylan with an expressive voice in the middle ground between a Jeff Buckley and Bob Dylan. Like Dylan and Bono he believes in a specific rhyme pattern in which the listener is forced to focus upon the couplets he creates. Some like this style, while others do not (I do).

The album and song Ash Wednesday come from Sept 12, 2001, when he realized he had nothing left of his moth but ashes, this on the anniversary of the death of his father, who was cremated. Months later, on Ash Wednesday, 2002 this become apparent and thus the song/ album was born.

Calling his lyrics stunning is an understatement. Seldom have I heard an artist that can turn a phrase as he can (Bill Malonnee, Don Chaffer, Bob Dylan, Will Sheff). Here is a sampling, which will not do it justice unless you hear the songs. Among the most devastating is this from While You Were Sleeping, a song about death and dreams in light of his parents' death: 

so i waited for the riddled sky

to be solved again by sunrise 

and I've made a death suit for life 

for my father's ill widowed wife

So, listen to and pick up his excellent first album and consider his latest. If you want to wait, I am sure it will eventually go on sale, but don't forget about him.

Here is Perkins myspace page with streaming music. 

Here is his latest project on myspace. 

Buy his latest and download a copy of Shampoo, the first single for free.

Khrusty Brothers sing Sympathy for Jesus

As I ran through the nominees for the Emergent Idol contest, a reader from Kansas City kept mentioning the Khrusty Brothers, the latest side project of Waterdeep's Don Chaffer. How I missed this when it came out in late fall, I will never know. 

Needless to say, I have been listening since it was introduced to me last week and I am impressed. A little stranger than your average Waterdeep album, the Khrusty's are a Traveling Wilburys or Swirling Eddies type creation, complete with costumes, back story and stage show. Luckily for all, the also have the songs to compliment the creativity.

While the album is no stronger than your average Waterdeep CD (this is a compliment actually), there is a stand out on the album. Sympathy for Jesus is the strongest song Don (or Waterdeep) has done since Both of Us Will Feel the Blast. Nothing I can say will do justice to actual song, so here is the YouTube version of it live (sans some of the good lyrics cut due to it being church, and all).

Here is a link to the back story of the band in which you can listen to Sympathy for Jesus in all its glory (along with Both of Us Will Feel the Blast).

Here are the lyrics. You will see why nothing I can say does it justice.

I came stumbling into church with a hot gun in my hands

I was ready to talk to Jesus to tell him my demands

But Jesus ain’t no fool, he’s seen this kinda thing before

And He had a couple angels stop me at the front door

I said now come on that ain’t fair, you should be accessible to all

He said everybody gets a secretary even just to take their calls

So address me to my face if you think you’ve got the balls

But I ain’t playin around, boy, at all

This was not what I expected so I stiffened in my stance

And I tried hard to remember every single shitty circumstance

Then I quivered like a victim with his predator in sight

I was ready now to vindicate, I was ready to start a fight

Now you can stand right there and judge me,

     shoot, you can send me straight to hell

I know you got the power, I know that fact full well

But before you do explain to me, Why suffering and why death?

And why did I pray all those years and waste all that good breath?

Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Well the angels sang it under their breath by the door

Hallelujah, Hallelujah

I give up, I can’t go on like this any more

Well I appreciate your kind, he said and then Jesus poured a drink

My face musta looked funny cause he said, It’s not like you think

I’m saddled with the job you know of interpreting my Dad 

To a bunch of frightened people, frightened or just mad

And most of ‘em think they got it right and then he threw some ice cubes in

But most of ‘em are just dead wrong about life and death and sin

And then I got my fiancee, she’s 'sposed to speak my mind

But sometimes she’s just chicken and then she messes it up other times

Here is a story, along with the song streaming. 

Watchmen Tonight!

I am venturing out tonight to see Watchmen on IMAX at 10PM tonight, a little past my bedtime considering the flick is close to 3 hours (I think anything shorter would be a problem, in fact I think it should be a miniseries on TV). My anticipation is palpable, a mix of dread and excitement. I know I will be disappointed and I know I must see this flick. I have been waiting for someone to film this unfilmable movie for over 20 years and I am a little wary of the director. Snyder's interpretation of 300 was impressive, but that book narratively simple and primarily visual. It was not layered with subtext and considered one of the great works of literature of the 20th Century. This expectation caused the visionary Terry Gilliam to give up on adapting it, as it did the equally impressive Paul Greengrass. I don't yet think Zack Snyder is in their league, but I could be wrong.

As an 18 year old Freshman in college I stumbled into a comic book store like a recovering addict in the wrong part of town hoping for a quick score before getting on with his life. Yes, I just compared comics to drugs. See, I never had trouble with any of the normal addictive substances, not in my gene pool I guess. However, comic books are different. I have been addicted and quit cold turkey numerous times. As a teen my addiction was $50 per month (with $100 per month binges periodically). I stopped when I realized I was too involved emotionally in the fantasies I was reading about.

In college, partly due to Watchmen my addiction reached a consistent $75-$100 per month level until I realized how much I was spending and how much I did not like the guys at the comic book stores. You know that stereotype in the Simpsons? True. 100%. I did not want to become that guy, so I stopped cold turkey again.

In grad school, I was like a social drinker with periodic binges, but I kept the addiction under control. As a working adult with the financial resources, I flirted with it again, but never let it get out of hand. After marriage, I have ventured into the stores periodically for special stuff like The Dark Knight Strikes Back or Red Rocket Seven but I stay away at all other times.

Last year, my mentor and pastor friend Geoff (over 50 and still into comics) took me to a comic book store to look for something. I could compare it to an alcoholic venturing into a bar and asking for club soda, but pointing out the the other patrons the glories of single malt scotch. I told Geoff that he was potentially making me stumble, but I made it out clean.

Now I feed that addiction with the local library. I check out every graphic novelization I can find, read it in a few hours and return it. I guess it is like a recovering heroin addict repeatedly watching Trainspotting, but never spending money on blow.

I probably should stay away from the film adaptations, but that would be impossible. I must see how they pull this thing off tonight, even if it is a glorious disaster. So, back to that moment in the comic book store as an 18 year old recovering addict. Watchmen was the good stuff I had always looked for as a teen. It satisfied my longing and helped me realize the potential of this art form. Every few years, I pull the trade paperback out of its wrapper to re-read it (I dare not remove the original 12 part series from their wrappers- unlike fine wine they do not get better with age and should not be consumed). It still holds up.

Tonight I will get a fix, but I will return home and stay out of those dens of iniquity filled with guys I do not want to become (I like my hair short, living in my own house, talking about other stuff and being thin)... the comic book store.

#10 Emergent Idol- Over the Rhine

Over the Rhine is not the Official Band of Emergent. Over the Rhine is the official band of really smart, literary minded Christians, many of whom may designate themselves as Emergent or emerging.

In many ways, OTR is the perfect band for emerging Christianity. They are whip smart, take their Christian faith very seriously and it informs their art, lives and livelihood. The band has a multiplicity of leadership, of both genders and is a partnership based upon relationship as well as music. One of the leaders comes from an Anabaptist background which informs their art. 

Like many of us, OTR has chosen at different times to live in the inner city and return to the simplicity of farm life. Their greatest quality is that OTR has always denied the existence of a line between secular and secular art, challenging both worlds with music too theological rich for Contemporary Christian art or Top 40 radio. They are the band Paste magazine was built for (along with their compatriots VOL).

The music is challenging, embracing modern acoustic, country, classic jazz and classical elements (albeit, very white styles). The lyrics deal with love, doubt, faith, philosophy, theological ruminations. Lyrically and musically deep with a transcendent singer with one of the most beautiful and haunting voices in musical history. What is not to love?

Hitting their stride on the haunting Good Dog, Bad Dog, the magnificent Films for Radio (their attempt for mainstream pop success) and the perfect Ohio, these albums dealt with what would considered the postmodern human condition dealing with life on earth as it longed for life after this life. 

While I do not consider them to be the perfect band for Emerging Christians (and Emergent) to embrace as their "official" band, they are perfect for any smart, literary minded person that likes challenging their own belief system (Christian or not). They have been around a lot longer than Emergent has, informing many of the leaders of the conversation since college or grad school.

I have seen them a number of times, with perfection being a sold out show in Richmond in which they opened for the Cowboy Junkies (no other pairing could bring such female vocal perfection) and would recommend seeing them live if possible. My favorite albums are ones mentioned above, Eve.

Listen to them here.

Read their lyrics and get to know them here.

Emergent Idol- those not in the Top 10, but deserving of designation

Here are some of the contenders for Official band of Emergent that did not make the final cut, but are great bands, along with their official designation (all bands will have an official designation for your pleasure and usage in future conversations about the band).

Here are those that did not make my final Top 10:

Cold War Kids- the official band of Christian college kids that embraced Emergent ideals but don’t want to talk about spirituality in the context of their new job as they are moving up the ladder. The are the kids we all want in our church even if we say we want the other guys more.

Johnny Cash- The Supportive grandfather of Emergent and modern Christian spirituality

Beastie Boys- Emergent’s cool Jewish friend

Weezer- Emergent's snarky Buddhist college roommate that kept dropping out of school

Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds- The official band of Liberal but muscular Christianity that everyone thinks is destroying Emergent. He would make Mark Driscoll squirm in a street fight/ debate, even if does not believe in an interventionist God.

Jenny Lewis (and Rilo Kiley)- the official band of emerging Atheism (the humbler, more agnostic flavor)

The Mountain Goats and The Decemberists- the smart college friend from literature classes that never embraced faith, but we want to be associated with. Their older brother was Pavement. Conor Oberst and Bright Eyes are the younger brother. The Replacements was their dad. The Hold Steady is their drunken cousin. Emergent really wants these guys on board while the rest of the church holds no interest.

Wilco- The official band of postmodern country folks (I know I should have done much better)

Ryan Adams- who many of Emergent's critics see when they look at Emergent, if they are being nice

Ben Harper- The Official band of InclusivEmergent and open ended spirituality. He gets invited to Emergent events, but worries the outsiders. He is one of the reasons they keep starting new bands, even if they like listening to him behind the scenes.

Peter Himmelman- The Jewish Uncle from Minneapolis Emergent had, but never found out about. They should really get to know him, especially his early stuff.

Waterdeep- Emergent’s House Band

The Cobalt Season- Emergent’s Son

Zach Lind- the ?uestlove of Emergent

some of these are inside jokes or obscure references. Please ask and I will explain anything.

Best U2 Albums

Over the last few months I have steered you towards the best Radiohead (or affiliated) albums, the best Bob Dylan songs and the best Bill Mallonee/ Vigilantes of Love albums. As U2's latest opus has been birthed and the reviews have been given, starting with Rolling Stone's 5 star review and tweeted by all of my Emergent friends (me too), I have thought about their entire catalog.

I do think the latest has the potential to be in the top 5, but no higher than 4 under any circumstances. Of course, "I was putting in the numbers in the ATM machine" on Moment of Surrender is not their lyrical highpoint as a band.

However, today I will give you my list of the best albums U2 has provided, pre-NLOTH. Since the album is new, It cannot be properly judged yet. Achtung Baby took some potshots upon release and is now seen as their APEX while the last 2 albums are moving down many people's lists upon further review. So, I will not be a dreaded Immediaista (my own word for people that must be the first to review something and thereby miss nuance).

Before giving my top U2 albums, I will give some credentials. My first U2 experience was in 1983 at the age of 15 at a friend's house watching the video for New Year's Day on Mtv. I was hooked and bought War the next day (I discovered U2 after REM). Since that day, I have bought each U2 album on its day of release. I own most U2 albums on CD and vinyl.

I have seen U2 in 3 states over the course of 3 decades beginning with the Joshua Tree tour in Tampa Stadium and ending with the Elevation Tour (Boston stop) documented on DVD. I own many U2 books and consider them the second best band ever (below The Beatles and above the Rolling Stones, Zeppelin, the Who and The Clash). They are my all-time favorite band, even though I would rather listen to Radiohead on a daily basis. I have even contemplated writing a book with the band as the major subject (before realizing it had been overdone and I have no discipline- even if no one has written my book yet).

So, you get it. I like U2. I don't genuflect before the image of Bono. He can get on my nerves and I think what makes him the great singer and world influencer also makes him a pompous ass. So, I love them like a family member loves their brother thinking the world of him/ them while wanting to punch them every once in a while. That said, here is my list.

16. Original Soundtracks 1 (Passengers) with Brian Eno (fans only got it because we were desperate for something in the dry years between Zooropa and Pop. There is one good song on it).

15. U218 Singles (only here because it has 2 new songs, both of which are quite solid. The other compilations- not included on this list, are much better.)

14. Wide Awake in America (too short and not as great as their other live albums, this is on the list for 12 minutes of absolute splendor, the live version of Bad along with A Sort of Homecoming. The version is Bad is among the best live recordings ever put to tape.)

13. Pop (cool people like to cite it as underrated and misunderstood. I will go with misunderestimated, like our previous president. I appreciate the effort and some of the execution, but this is their weakest album, even if it is better in retrospect.)

12. October (suffers because it sits between the promise of Boy and the realization of War, it is a nice album with a couple of lofty moments.)

11. The Million Dollar Hotel Soundtrack (how could this uneven soundtrack to a mediocre film with only a few U2 songs get so high on the list? It was a return to form after Pop and contained some excellent tunes, highlighted by what competes with One for the mantle of best U2 song ever,the rapturous The Ground Beneath Her Feet.)

10. Under a Blood Red Sky (If I had fallen for U2 on War, this live effort sealed the deal. I was hooked after seeing and hearing this. It was my first concert VHS and album. It is among the best live albums ever made. The version of Sunday, Bloody Sunday from this album is better than the original.)

9. Boy (discovering it after War and Under a Blood Red Sky, it suffers from hearing where they now were. I have had to return to this album as an adult to fully appreciate the potential for greatness exhibited in a such rawness.)

8. How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb (why is this album so low? Because the other albums are even better. This is a great album that would be the highlight of a normal great band. It includes a top 5 single, Crumbs From Your Table and is more fun musically than previous albums, even though it is not as good as I initially though it was.)

7. Rattle and Hum (people like to take potshots at this album due to the grandiose, portentous, inflated, bombastic self importance of this effort. All of which is true, but misses the point. Leave behind the ridiculousness of some of the live recordings- Bullet the Blue Sky is the worst offender- U2 has elevated the game to new heights on songs of such breathtaking beauty as Hawkmoon 269 and the transcendent All I Want is You, #3 the U2 song of all time.)

6. Zooropa (this high for 1 reason. They brought Johnny Cash back from the dead before Rick Rubin did on The Wanderer, the coolest thing Cash ever recorded. Oh yeah, this album gets better with each listen. BTW, I did not like it when it was released. If it had included Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me, Kill Me as it was supposed to, it would be #4.)

5. War (I have a hard time placing this album. It is my first love and the epitome of my 3rd album theory- great bands give us great albums on #3. Should it be higher than ATYCLB? I don't know. It brings back great memories of driving fast with stereo blasting and discussing with friends why U2 is "Christian" based upon a single lyric in Sunday, Bloody Sunday. Those were the days. I am placing it lower because I have feeling it is not as good as I think it is.) Bono had just turned 22 when they started this album

4. All That You Can't Leave Behind (talk about returning from the wilderness. I believe this album moved U2 from merely great, all time top 10 or 20 band to Top 3 band. This album is the completion of their catalog and everything else is gravy. While not in the league of AB or JT, it is a truly great album of such spiritual depth, one that "Christian artists" will never reach while tethered to the church machine. Yes, the events of 9/11 changed the game for this album, just as 1968 did for a few albums of that generation.)

3. The Unforgettable Fire (I actually like this album better than Acthung Baby. But, I realize it is not as good. I will admit that I use this album as a plumb line to decide what kind of U2 fan a person is. It is my rock snob U2 album. I can argue it as their best, but know it is not. However, it is the most consistent album of the catalog, not a weak moment. But it does not reach the heights of #1 and #2. I remember the moment I picked up the preorded cassette at our local K-Mart. I had just gotten my first car and it was the soundtrack of my junior year of high school, but only mine in my high school.) BTW- Bono was 23 when they started this album.

2. Achtung Baby (I would not argue with anyone putting this at #1. Actually I would, but just to see how strong they are in their justification. There is a reason it is considered a classic. It just is. It changed everything. Never has a bigger band not called The Beatles so radically changed from one album to the next. Never has a band taken such a risk with so much to lose. It threw everyone for a loop. We fought and debated and realized the greatness, even though I HATE a couple of songs on this album. One is their greatest triumph and Until the End of the World is a top 10er. This has more great songs than any other U2 album, besides...).

1. The Joshua Tree (nothing will compare to my emotion when I first heard With or Without You on the radio in Melbourne, FL or bought the LP at Hyde & Zekes across the street from UF. It is the best album of my musical lifetime. I consider this album life and faith altering. For the first time I heard someone from a Christian point of view voice my struggles and desires. CCM was not allowed to do this. My year was consumed by this album and the 77s self titled release, the other album of breathtaking honesty and emotion of my early Christian life. This album and the concert at Tampa stadium in December are among the most spiritually significant moments of my life.) Bono was 25 when they began recording this.